Why did the chicken cross the road Who the f*** let out the chicken

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Why couldn't the duck fly? It died.

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I swear to drunk officer I'm not god.

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What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

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Q: What did the dog say the cat? A: nothing, because dogs cannot speak, and even if they could, I highly doubt they would speak cat.

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like you Get in the van

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Q: Why didn't the dirty man jump into the shower? A: Because he spotted the potential danger to jump into a slippery shower and proceeded with caution.

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I like my coffee the way I like my women.....without a penis.

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A Jew buys something that is not on sale

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You: Hey, I have a good knock knock joke, here, you start! -and if all goes well...- Them: Knock knock! You:Who's there? Them: Uhh...

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A Horse walks into a Bar. The barman says "Why the long face?" The Horse had cancer.

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Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M's factory? For throwing away all the W's

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What is worse than getting stung by a bee? Watching your family die in a fire.

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Whats more painful than falling onto a sharp stone? Suffering the loss of your mother and newborn brother in a tragic car accident on your birthday.

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A blonde was drinking water from the water fountain. She was very thirsty.

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What did the chair say when someone sat on it? Nothing. The person's butt covered the chair's mouth.

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Do you want to hear a bad joke? A bad joke

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Roses are roses Violets are violets Sugar is sugar And you're a person

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Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his forehead

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Roses are red Violets are actually the color violet, contrary to popular belief.

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why did the clown fall off the swing because he got shot in the face

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: WHERE'S MY TRACTOR?!

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A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to a near by hospital where he is treated for a concussion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops