Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

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Why did Dave stop going to the laundromat? Because he was a suicide bomber.

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Whats the difference between a lemon and an ant? They're both yellow except for the lemon.

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Depends how you look at it, I like some girl, she and that girl gets along, I get along with the two girls, and yeah, I make them fight to the death as I consume the weakest one and make the new one my wife of darkness! Well, actually, threesomes, but NEVAH, NEVAR!! *shakes fist towards the skies* with another man! Now if my waifu wants to have some fun with a girl, I say why not (and then she asks if I want to join always so far), its genetics, you know, each caveman had like 600 wivus and he did not have time to bang them all, now let those genes go trough MAN for a couple of millenia, and he becomes the KING OF DEMONS... ME! Those other scumbags are a whole other story. Oh, and the 600 wivus did either go without sexytime, or you know... I mean you do KNOW that women are like comfortable naked together and yeah...

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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*knock, knock* "Who's there?" *knock, knock* "Who's there?" This went on for hours, as man 1 was deaf, and man 2 was blind.

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What do you call a cow that is lying on a barn floor? A cow

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asdf

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Q: A squirrel a chipmunk and a spider monkey are fighting over these nuts. Who gets them? A: Your Mom ;p

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i'm filthy rich literally because money is dirty

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Why was the boy drinking toilet water? Because he was receiving a violent swirly. He then went home and killed himself.

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why did jenny get 22 turnovers in a basketball game? because jenny has down syndrome

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Why is Jordan Abu Arabian ? Because his mom is!

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What's the difference between a paper towel and a crab cake? Ones a paper towel and ones a crab cake

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Boy: Hey girl, the voices in my head tole me to come over and talk to you. Girl: ... *walks away*

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What's red,little and its in the corner??? --- Strawberry in the corner

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If you can cut half a rope. You can cut the whole rope.

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Q: What did Nala say to Simba during the stampede? A: Nothing. She was nowhere to be found during that scene.

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Why is the wimpy guy so strong and angry now? Because he took steroids.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am adopted And so are you

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Womans baksetball...

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Why do blind people laugh at this joke? Because they can't read it and everyone else is laughing.

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Why did the computer load on facebook? Thats what you typed in.

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Why are black people so ghetto? because they live in the ghetto

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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