Why did the chicken cross the road? He was in a van headed to the slaughterhouse.

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OMG, THIS ACTUALLY WORKS!! 1. Hold your breath? for 5 minutes. 2. Die

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A deaf man walks into a bar. Minutes later, cops come in and arrests the poor man for not paying his bill while the deaf man sits at the bar calmly drinks his beer.

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How are a black man, a hispanic man, and a chinese man similar? Believe it or not they all love cantaloupe!

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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Person 1:why did the person fart Person 2: wh.... Person 1:shut up I'm not interested any more! Btw person 2 got interrupted

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How do Mexicans have sex? They get in bed, and the man puts his dick in his partner's vagina.

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What's old and has wet pants? My grandma with a bladder problem

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Q: If Elvis was alive today, what would he crave the most? A: Brains. Moral: BRAAAAAAAAAAAINS!

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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what happened to the cripple after he got in a wheel chair? cancer of the eye

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Why did the boy fail his test? Because he got shot before he could even study.

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Yo mamas so greasy that she has a beard

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Can I have... ...a beer." The bartender asks, "What's with the large pause?" To which the bear replies, "I have... ...a speech impediment."

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How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? The same amount as white people, stop being racist.

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A grandma starts pinching her grandsons cheeks and saying who's a little cutie pie the baby begins to bleed cause his grandmas nails are peircing his skin

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Do you need a life...? You can borrow mine! lol JUBIE! :()

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being held for random.

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A doctor walks into a bar, he stumbles backwards as he is taking his coat off, and the barman chuckles.

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Penis.

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what did the blind, deaf, paraplegic child get for christmas? other than cancer, nothing.

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What do you call an African American sitting on a park bench? Elephant-man (I forgot to mention, he has a giant elephant trunk)

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Roses are red violents are blue I have 5 figures and the middle one is for you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops