Why was Timmy crying? because his impaled his dog while in a drunken rage

thumb_up thumb_down -14

roses are red violets are blue your friend is a scumbag and so are you

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How can a chicken be dirty? It can be covered in dirt!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

a blonde and a brunet are in an elevator. a man walks in the brunet says to the blonde "he has dandruff, he needs head and shoulders.' then the blonde says "we can give him head, but how can we give him shoulders."

thumb_up thumb_down -14

3 strangers were locked in a dark room they turned the light on, unlocked the door and proceeded with their day.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Is your refrigerator running? Yes Good. Enjoy your cold drinks.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

This is a shovels and rakes conversation. No hoes allowed.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why didnt the 14 year old get her period? Because she had gotten pregnant by her father

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Given the unlikely circumstance in which an elephant actually does sit on your fence, it is equally unlikely said elephant would be able to do so unseen by witnesses, of whom you may ask what time the event occurred. Assuming your witness thought to look at the time befor calling animal control.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the bird fall out of the sky, It hit one of the random green pipes.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? That boy that dropped a perfectly good ice cream cone from a road accident involving a bus due to lack of road safety awareness Oh yeah, and I guess the fact that he probably died or was injured for life is pretty bad too

thumb_up thumb_down -16

The awkward moment when you don't know whether to like or dislike this because you think I want like so you are gonna dislike but what If I want dislikes, but what if I want likes, you are confused Antijokeception....

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Two pandas walked into a bar. The bar was in china.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

when Life gives you lemons, make lemonade. So i made some lemonade. Turns out the lemons Kawazaki Life gave me were poisoned and i shortly die afterwards. i wouldve died cursing out her name but she was cute so i forgave her in my mind. and thus i die in peace.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Who told the gorilla he couldn't go to the ballet? The people who were in charge of making that decision.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the chicken cross the road? Actually a better question would be, why is the chicken near a road in the first place?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did one umbrella say to the other umbrella? Nothing, umbrellas cannot instigate a conversation, because they cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I regret everything.....

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: Why did the black man have a gun? A: We was recently indicted for insider trading and preferred suicide to a long prison sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is furry, red, and flat? Road kill.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Women age like a fine wine: sediment develops as they lose their tannins, and earthy notes of oak and mineral develop in their flavor profile, giving them a lengthened finish.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are red violets are blue tulips are purple/pink

thumb_up thumb_down -16

a black guy, a white guy, and an asian guy walked into a bar. It was an interracial bar, and served men and women of all nationalities.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops