Whats worse than getting an "F" on a test? Stage diving with a kilt on.

thumb_up thumb_down

A boy spilt his milk on the floor, and then cleaned it up before his mum got home.

thumb_up thumb_down

2 black men beat 9 white men in basketball. Why is this so? They were clearly out numbered.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a Chineses filled with bus?

thumb_up thumb_down

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down

titanic vs 9/11 who would win? Well the titanic backwards is a ship which saves lives and 9/11 backwards is a building on fire spitting out airplanes

thumb_up thumb_down

What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad that this joke took your mind off your terminal cancer?

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the goose say to the other goose? Honk!

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock knock. This is a no soliciting residence, and I do not open my door for strangers.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the black man quit his job as a rapper? Because he was an admirable father and husband and was willing to sacrifice his passion to provide for those he loved.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red Violets are blue Cats meow Dogs have four legs

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a black man and an Asian at a school? Two hard-working, dedicated teachers.

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Obamacare

thumb_up thumb_down

FIONN'S LIFE

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was the blonde in the library? Because she was committed to her studies and was getting ready for a test.

thumb_up thumb_down

Little Jimmy had walked in on his parents. "Mummy what are you doing with dad?" "Baking a cake" She replied. Two hours later the cake had then cooled and was consumed by all.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q. How many infants does it take to paint a wall? A. Depends how hard you throw them...

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the cow cross the road? Cause it wanted to. Why di the chicken cross the road? Cause it was stapled to the cow's face.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the plane crash? Because there was no pilot

thumb_up thumb_down

why was the black man blind? because he was black.

thumb_up thumb_down

if life throws you lemons you must be dyslexic

thumb_up thumb_down

What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

thumb_up thumb_down

What is red and green and goes round and round? A frog in a blender!

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops