Someone offers your friend one of two things he say's "choose witch one you want" your friends asks you and you say "if i were you, i'd be ugly"

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Ron Paul for President!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can walk wherever the hell they want. Leave them alone.

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A man stops another man on the street in Manhattan and asks "How do I get to Carnegie Hall ?" The other man gives him direction, including which subway stop to get off at.

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If I have 7 oranges in one hand and 8 oranges in the other, what do I have? Big hands!

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Why did the man jump into the river? He wanted to go for a swim, but the pool was closed, so he swam in the river.

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Charmander is red,Squitle is blue,If you were a pokemon i'd choose you.

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Why did the man run away from the woman? He forgot his rape kit.

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Trust me, you are that kind of girl, and no, you are not nerdy, you are open and down to ground, while your beautiful exterior means a lot to me (I am a man, its the way I am), I would never have wanted to talk to you or even less visit you with a pack (make it five packs) of condoms, if you where the awkward Asperger kind of gal, so how old are you, like seriously?

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What did Lois say to Peter? Who cares... Family Guy is a stupid show.

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Knock knock! Who's there? A Doorbell salesman.

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Why don't jews believe in Jesus Because jews believe Jesus Christ was not their savior

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Patient: "Doctor, my arm hurts when I poke it with my index finger." Doctor: "That's because your finger is broken."

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Your mamas so fat that she went to the doctor and he said she has a very high case of diabetes so now she's trying to excerise more and watching what she eats.

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knock knock who's there? nobody. then why are you knocking?

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What is white, black and blue all over? A zebra that was assaulted by Chuck Norris.

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Why did the duck cross road? It didn't, it got ran over.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being the worm.

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Friends are like potatoes - when you eat them they die.

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What should you do when you're constipated? Poop.

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What do you call a lepucaun leaping in a feild of flowers, on christmas? Ground beef.

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your life

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Why did the man shoot himself? Because he already shot his wife.

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Your mom is so fat she wears large clothes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops