You know what pansies remind me of? What? A flower

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt, it was hit by a car

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Q: How do you fit two beluga whales into a mini van? A: You don't.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of 5

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The horses name was Friday.

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What do you call a gay scientologist? His first name or last name, depending on how close you 2 are.

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What's worse than a necrophobiac in a morgue? A necrophiliac. What's worse than a necrophiliac in a morgue? Seeing your family hacked to death by an evil axe murderer.

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Why was the man bad at football? - he is chad henne

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How many women does it take to unscrew a light bulb? Usually just one, and a ladder.

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Why couldn't the black guy support his family? He was only 3 years old.

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knock knock who's there? Police oh shit

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A Jewish man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

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what did one mute say to the other? Nothing.

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How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool

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Q:What do you call a black man that got to the moon and back in a space rocket? A: A golfer, he is a pro golfer now!

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Why did the kid trip over the rock? Because he was diagnosed with serious autism, and might die soon.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas?... A warm meal, a shower, and a place to sleep courtesy of the local homeless unit.

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How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None...they can cook in the dark.

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How do you tell a bunch of Chinese people apart? Go up to each one and ask them their first and last names. The chances of any of them being the same is quite slim, giving each person their own identity.

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What did the asian do with his homework? finish it. as is expected from children his age.

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A black man and his mexican friend walk into a bar. The black man orders a drink and the mexican gets soda. He is the designated driver

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So a guy goes to his doctor because he thinks he has an STD. He asks the doctor "how bad is it doc?" to which the doctor replies "Well, I got the test results and it doesn't look good. You've got chlamydia, gonorrhea, and onomatopoeia. The guy asks "What's onomatopoeia?" The doctor replies "It's exactly what it sounds like"

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Obama being reelected.

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Why don't you want to shout "Hi" to your friend Jack on an airplane? Because he's deaf and will not hear you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops