How did Clumsy Clearance eat shit? He was in the Human Centipede.

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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Boy: Excuse me, do you have a cigarette? Man: First let me see your ID. Boy: I don't have an ID Man: Well, how much money do you have? Boy: 50 cents Man: Sorry, I don't have any cigarettes. Boy: Good job, I'm actually undercover cop and you sir are a good citizen for not giving a minor cigarettes. Man: Cool, do I get a reward? Boy: Yes, you will receive a good citizen award and free $50 coupon. Man: Thank you! Boy: Can I have a cigarette now? Man: I wasn't lying when I said I didn't have any cigarettes. Boy: Okay, have a nice day.

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In the North people say "once upon a time." What do people in the South say? "Y'all never gonna believe dis shit!"

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How many Italians does it take to change a light bulb....... 1

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I lost The Game, You just did too.

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Whats the difference between a Corvette and a dead bag of babies. -there's not a Corvette in my garage

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A dog was driving his car down the road right? Wrong dogs can't drive cars

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Reading books

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If an ice cream van goes out of business, who drove the Jeep into the furniture store? To get to the other side.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Not Harry Styles! - Louis

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A dyslexic man gets asked what 1+1 is, he replies with a wopping 11. Grats <3

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Colon Right Parentheses For all of the confused people out there that's :)

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"Bitches are fake, talk shit get hit!". False, female dogs cannot speak in the tongues of humans, and if they could I am sure excrement would not come from their mouths.

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what is the difference between a car salesman and a lawyer? a car salesman sells cars to people while a lawyer is an expert in law.

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Women's rights

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Q: Why didn't Jack go up the hill? A: He had prior engagements.

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How do you make a 6-year-old cry again? Tell him that without further change to the system, he'll end up paying $100,000 for school and then not have a job when he graduates.

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Giant scorpions, red roses, adoption, the holocaust, bars, changing light bulbs, and fridges.

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Yo momma so poor, she can't afford to live in a two story Cheerio box

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Jesus, Buddha and Mohamed walked into a bar and say: "There is as much validity in this fiction as in our collective works.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Roses are red...

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Women. One of the genders a human can be.

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I LIKE TRAINS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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