How do you wake up Lady Gaga? I don't know, I've never tried to.

Why did the fat boy cry? His grandmother died

What's worse than getting raped then killed? Getting killed then raped.

A spanish comedian walked into a bar. He was on time for his act.

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

Dr. I need a new butt, mine has a crack in it.

Me and my family won courtside tickets to the World Finals basketball game! ...WNBA...

What do grizzly bears and people have in common? Neither can survive in outer space, due to depressurization, lack of oxygen, and absence of basic survival needs.

what is worst than 1 bee stings two bee stings what is worst than two bee stings holocaust what is worse than three bee stings getting raped by a giant scorpion

What's worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in two dumpsters

roses are red violets are blue if i had a gun i would shoot you

What did the pineapple say to the apple? Nothing, neither can speak.

what is the difference between batman and a black guy. bat man is white

what do you say to a black guy on steroids? B!tch please

What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Santa isn't real.

I helped build the town school. But when people see me, no one says "Hey, there's the guy that built the town school." I helped put out the flames, when the city was on fire. But when people see me they don't say "Hey, there's the hero that saved the city." But I have sex with one goat.... And people judge me justifiably asd having sex with goats is really disgusting and sticks in peoples minds.

A man walk to the store and buys some clothes.

Why did the guy jump out of the plane? he was parachuting

A guy went to McDonalds and asked for a cheeseburger: —Can I have a cheeseburguer? —No

So I was making love to my cat the other day, and my pet dog comes in.

Why did the boy loose his glass with milk? He got hit by a bus.

Her tits are so big that they would provide adequate nourishment for any future offspring.

A guy walks into a bar and doesn't buy a 12 pack of coke, pepsi is better but he didn't have enough money to buy either.

What happens when you shoot Chuck Norris? You go to jail.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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