A duck walks into a restraunt and sit's down at it's table. The waiter asks what the duck would like to eat. The duck says "I'd like a tasty, healthy meal that will help me lose weight." The waiter says "How about the rocket salad?" So, the duck orders a rocket salad, eat's it, pays his bill, and leaves.

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A farmer has 17 sheep standing in a field and all but 9 drop down and die. How many sheep are left? It doesn't matter. A CIA sniper guns the farmer down, along with his family and the remaining sheep. The other agents move in and remove all evidence that the government is experimenting with a new nerve agent.

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what do you call 69 babies in one room? a room full of babies

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1)Did you hear about the sick juggler? 2)No... 1) He just couldn't stop throwing up!!!! 2)Oh no!! Is he ok?? 1)He's dead. 2)HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA c&h

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How do you get girls to watch a crappy movie? Tell them Taylor Lautner is in it.

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Why didn't the family finish their picnic? Because a dog was sick all over the food.

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Q: what's blue and kills you when it falls from the sky? A: a whale no shit

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If the Earth is square, why are trees smart? because you touch yourself at night

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Why doesn't Micheal Jackson do a music video with Usher? Because he is dead.

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I went to the doctor and explained to him, "My penis fell off." The doctor gives me an odd look, and then chops his off to make me feel better.

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Your Mother

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Why did the lady have a birthmark on her leg? Because she came out of her mother's leg.

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Q: Were did suzy go after the explosion? A: Everywere

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Knock Knock? Whos there? The police, please open the door.

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What did the driver have when he got hit by another car? An accident.

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Q:So there's a black guy and a mexican sitting in a car...who's driving? A: The Cop

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What is worse than a sharknado? A bullcano.

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Knock knock Who the fuck says knock knock?

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Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he found out the oreo he slept with last night had aids and he wanted to make sure he didnt get the deadly disease so he went to the doctor to get tested.

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Yo momma's so stupid she comes up in a lot of jokes titled "yo momma jokes"

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your mother is a well respected woman in society and makes delicious cookies.

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What's slower than mollasses? Your fattass mother!

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why was the tolit stoped up. because it had phoo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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