How are cars made? By magic.

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I walked into temptation yesterday, He said hi.

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Yo mama so poor, she can't afford luxuries

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What's worse than eating a rotton fruit that makes you sick?? Getting raped by a giant jackalope and then being left for dead in the middle of nowhere and being found by an old pedophile whose van ran out of gas and then running away only to find some water but while you were drinking it you got grabbed and dragged under the water by an octopus who has wandered off many miles from its home and then dying because humans don't have gills

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I'm on the ABC diet. The ABC stands for: Americans British Chinese I eat humans.

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what do you call a black man in a car? -a person who passed his drivers test

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Josh brown, Cant have sex, you want to know why...... Because he has a smelly vagina

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Two 16 year old girls are chatting on their way to school: Girl 1 : "hey, is that a hickey on your neck? say, have you been naughty? is it Brian's mark?" Girl 2 : "That's not a hickey, it's a bruise. My dad came home drunk again last night and beat me up for no reason."

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No. Neither has he.

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why was little johnny crying? he had frogs stapled to his face.

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Why did the cow cross the road? It was escorted by its owner to get to the slaughter-house.

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Take one: "What kind of assho... Take two "What kind of awesome people with no dignit..." Take three: "What kind of awesome people with most dignified self image would use this piece of shit s... Final take What kind of awesome people with most dinified self image would use this RETARDED PIECE OF MOLTEN SHlT SITE FROM FUCKING HELL?" Moral: "Technically I do not use it, I abuse it just like I did your mom... Hey, I am your dad by the way, that gives me the right to rape you whenever I want" NeroMetal I once fisted a velociraptor to death (I do not mean punching it in the face here if you think thats something), but that's not metal... I cant for the fuck bother to find out how to spell the fucking dinosaurs name... Now that is metal...

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How do you know when a blonde has been using your computer? If you're lucky some of his or hair will have fallen out and be left on the keyboard as evidence.

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....ZZzzzzz.....ZZzzzzz.....

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why did the onion fall out of the bag? ...there was a hole in the bag so the onion fell out

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He looked both ways and saw there was no traffic.

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Why was Little Billy sad? Because he got shot.

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What's the deal with airplane food? Why don't they serve it as a complimentary part of the flight anymore?

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?.

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What do you call 10 Asians playing basketball? A group of friends hanging out and having a good time.

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Q: What is George Harrison's favorite hairstyle? A: How can we know? He's dead!

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Why did the Mexican jump the fence? Because he didn't feel like walking around the house to the side where the gate was to get out of the backyard

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What did the boy do when he ran out of Pringles? He killed himself.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops