Are you from Tennessee? Cause my uncle grew up there and I was wondering if you knew him.

thumb_up thumb_down

I just flew here from Cleveland, and boy are my arms tired! The people on either side of me were hogging the armrests, so I had to kind of tuck my arms up behind my head and it was very uncomfortable.

thumb_up thumb_down

My trip to Italia: Italian most: WELCOME TO ITAAAAAAALIA! YOU WANT THE PIZZA YES? Me asking my then Italian girlfriend: Are all Italians so loud? Then girlfriend: Yeah kinda... Her brother overhearing us: WHO! GAVE! YOU THE BALLS! TO JUDGE US! Me: Uh I am just surprised at... Her bro: I SAID WHO GAVE YOU THE BALLS... DONT LOOK AT ME! Me: *looking down at the ground somewhat ashamed* bro: LOOK AT ME WHEN I SPEAK TO YOU! NO! DONT LOOK AT ME! I will let you go for this time yes? Next time I will take you outside and beat you up okay? LOOK AT ME WHEN I SPEAK TO YOU! AND DO NOT LOOK AT ME! Conclusion: Wow you Italians are bad ass... I mean hell this is was a real life experience of mine, I was just a teen back then but I got a headache and threw up ending up in bed later... Fact: I am nearly two meters but walk with a hunch, the guy was half my size but still broke me down, wow Italians are bad ass...

thumb_up thumb_down

why did the little boy fall over? he was hit in the face by a salmon.

thumb_up thumb_down

An Asian girl is playing with a rubber band. She accidentally slings it into her eye, cries, and receives immediate attention from her mother.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the blind man say to the deaf man? Can you speak up? I cant hear you!

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? Adolf Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock knock. This is a no soliciting residence, and I do not open my door for strangers.

thumb_up thumb_down

Charlie Sheen, Mel Gibson, and Chris Brown all walk into a bar. I don't know what the punchline is, but I'm pretty sure the cops are there.

thumb_up thumb_down

A Jew, a Muslim and a Christian walk into a bar. The Muslim is dissatisfied with the choice of the meeting place since the Islam forbids drinking alcoholic beverages.

thumb_up thumb_down

Remember when the new jokes on this sight actually used to be funny?

thumb_up thumb_down

why did the 60 year old touch the little boy's penis? because he was a doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down

What does one call black men pushing a car up a hill? Black Car. What does one call white men pushing a car up a hill? White Car. What does one call Mexicans pushing a car up a hill? Grand Theft Auto

thumb_up thumb_down

What's worse than someone who thinks Sting is a nice guy? Sting.

thumb_up thumb_down

The lion swallowed his pride.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the black guy have a nice sterio? He has a well paying job and decided to treat himself.

thumb_up thumb_down

what do you call a dead man rolling down a hill on fire, being shot in the head, and strapped to a bomb Dead

thumb_up thumb_down

You know what's catchy? A cold

thumb_up thumb_down

You know whats funny? Matty Broom.

thumb_up thumb_down

roses are red FACT violets are blue FACT this ryhm is boring how about you FACT

thumb_up thumb_down

Why should you never eat a jellyfish on a Wednesday? Because it will sting you with its poison.

thumb_up thumb_down

What happened to the blond that went to collage? She got her masters degree and became a brain surgeon.

thumb_up thumb_down

what is the best way to start a car? put in the key and turn it.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops