Why did the boy eat the apple. He really likes apples.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have PTSD. Time to kill myself.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

long in the tooth!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

how do u make an infant cry? hit it in the face with a full grown salmon.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's Green and has Wheels? Ian Leighton... I LIED ABOUT THE GREEN

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A priest, a rabbi and a scientologist walk into a bar. They discuss their various religious viewpoints until the scientologist gets a call informing him of his mother's death. The priest buys him a drink. Then the priest gets a call informing him of his mothers death. The rabbi buys him a drink. The rabbi gets a call. The scientologist expects it to be about the rabbi's mother dying, so he prematurely buys him a drink. It was actually the lottery commission telling the rabbi he won 48 million dollars.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A seal walks into a club... the seals freinds later inform him they are now at a bar the seal then walks into the bar... the seal was later beaten to death

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the difference between a baby and a textbook? You throw a textbook at the wall with TWO hands.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Hey

thumb_up thumb_down -2

So like i was like 3 and I was like stupid or something I was only three, come on! three

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was the black man running? he was participating in race for the cure, a charity event where all proceeds go to breast cancer awareness.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

how much blondes does it take to fix a light bulb 1 to buy the bulb 2 to put it up and 25 to think about what it does

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: What do you call a person up to their elbows in a horse's ass? A: An Amish auto mechanic. (this gem brought to you by Designated Dale)

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what did the mushroom say to the other mushroom? nothing, mushrooms can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -2

My childhood friend said she had a bad breakup with her husband (yeah husband), and that she needed a really stiff one. Come on! How was I supposed to know she was talking about alcohol! She did blush and smile after I pulled my pants down however, that`s like seven out of ten right? I mean I was just trying to help a friend out right? And myself, fine myself, but it will be a total win/win situation, you know... Those where you win twice? "Dont worry, Im not comming" *pewpew*

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you get a chicken to cross the road? Get him in the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was 6 afraid of 7? When 6 was just a young boy living in a quaint suburbial town, his family, 1 2 3 4 and 5 were all killed by 7. 7 then burned down their house while 6 ran away from the blazing inferno he used to call home. 6 was forced to live off the land in order to survive. 6 built a house using only mud and sticks and a little elbow grease. When 7 heard the news that 6 was still alive and well in the forest, 7 went into the woods, tracked down 6's home and again burned it down. When 6 came back from a day of fishing and a handfull of fish, he saw that his house was burned down. The fish then escaped from his hands, and flew away. 7 had left a note on the ground that said 7. 6 then recalled the first time 7 had killed his family and burned down house. 7 had now burned down two of 6's houses. That is why 6 is afraid of 7.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's orange and not an orange? An orange.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's black, white and red and can't turn round in corridors? A nun with a spear through her head

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What weights more than a 300 pound man? A 400 pound man.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

everybody loves raymond

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you stop a rhino from charging? Kill it

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my d i c k in your a s s.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops