Your mother is so fat she has trouble finding clothes in her size.

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Why do we bother living when someday we will die? To reproduce and watch TV.

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Justin Beiber sings. people don't listen.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To make it home in time for Thanksgiving.

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Why does a black person buy water? Because everyone needs water to survive SKH RZH

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad that this joke took your mind off your terminal cancer?

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I wrote a joke for 'Anti-Joke', I laughed, it was funny.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? It's hard to say, as this number depends on a large number of factors including the average area covered by one lick, the pH of saliva, the solubility of Tootsie Pops, the temperature of both the saliva and the Tootsie Pop, and the amount of saliva deposited on the Tootsie Pop after each lick. This is not to mention all the manufacturing irregularities that may occur during production, and varying tongue shapes and solvency properties of saliva.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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a sabertooth walks into a club. the caveman set his trap perfectly.

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What do you call someone who's sad? A depressed person

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A dog walked into a bar. He was a trained seeing-eye dog leading a man who had been blind since a tragic industrial accident a year before.

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Why did the black man jump out of the plane? He was going on a parachute dive with his friend.

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don't just stand there

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Whats scary about the asian man driving a car? He was blind

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What do you call a black man stealing your tv? A thief

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, well at least they were, until I met you!

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What's purple and smells like crap? Crap. I lied about the purple

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What's the difference between Wayne Gretzky and Courtney Love? They have different proffesions

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How do chinese families name their children I belive it would be child because chinese families are only allowed 1 child

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what happens when you and a 6 foot black guy get stuck on an island? hang him by a tree and make shelter

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So, there was two successful business men at a social gathering when one leans in to the other to comment, "Hey, that women over there, she looks like your wife!" to which the other one replies, "That is my wife."

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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Knock knock, Who's there? Justin Bieber, LEAVE!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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