Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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Why was the boy laughing? Because

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What was that pirate movie rated? PG-13

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartenders asks "Why the long face?"

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2 gay men walked into a bar, The next day they want back to the bar, They went back on the third day but only 1 man came back out and he was in tears, This was because the other man had a cardiac arrest and died.

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knock knock whos there rock rock who rocks dont knock stupid

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Why did the young boy lose a testicle? Because he was viciously raped by a large parrot

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I always like to pack a second pair of pants, because if there's one thing my mother ever said to me it was 'please, I'm begging you - don't put me in a home.'

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Whats blue, green and red, and runs trough the strees each sunday? ...What? I have no idea, I was hoping you did.

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Ginger woodpecker throbbing in the moonlight

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hey i just met you and this is c r a z y , but im a pirate so call me matey ;)

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Batman. Batman who? Batman is stunned by the fact that there is in fact someone that does not know him.

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what did the soccer player say when he missed a penalty? damnit.

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In soviet russia...the abundance of natural oils and rich agricultural land provide it with a thriving economy

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what do you call a shitty anti-joke? A shitty anti-joke.

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no

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Why did the fat boy cry? His grandmother died

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River Ravi flows in which state? Liquid state.

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Why did the man slowly cross the road? He had a prosthetic leg.

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What's green and would kill you if it fell on you? A golf course

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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? What you probably have is a lawyer on holiday with his children, allowing himself or herself to be buried in order to please said children.

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Whats worse than not having cellphone service? Having sex unwillingly with a stranger then getting pregnant at the age of 13.

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Why did the black guy still have price tags on his clothes? He forgot to take them off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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