A patient goes to the doctor. The doctor says I have bad news and even worse news. The patient says "What's the bad news?" The doctor says "You only have 24 hours to live." The patient says "Oh my gosh what could possibly be worse than that?!" The doctor says "Well...we've been trying to contact you since yesterday..."

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Your mom is such a slut that your dad didn't even ask her if you were his biological child and raised you as if you were, regardless of what the dna results may suggest.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Richard.

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Wanna know what is gross? a dead baby in a dumpster. Grosser? Ten dead babies in a dumpster. Grosser? There is a live one at the bottom. Grosser? It ate its way out. Grosser? It came back for seconds.

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why did the kid with no legs get eaten by wolves? he couldn't get away

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a dog and a duck went out for a meal they both ordered lobster and enjoyed the night.

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How did the baby die? In a very sad and tragic car accident.

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Why couldn't Lucy get her driver's license? Because she has Cerebral Palsy!

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What's yellow and shark infested? Shark infested banana pudding.

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Roses are red violets are blue I can't rhyme fridge

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a black man walks into a shop for an interview....everyone gets afraid and hides behind there desk..when the black man wonders why they are scarred he says "I'm here for the interview"...they all tell him to leave because on his resume he put his name as john...they thought he was white....

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why was the old man cold? ...WHY?

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Why did Jimmy eat the apple? Because he was obese and needed to eat healthy because his doctor suggested it.

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? She had Down-Syndrome.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SPONGEBO... nope bin laden

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what do you get when you cross a broken arm and a broken leg? .... a broken head.

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How do you get 100 Africans in a phone box? Throw a can of beans in there.

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Q: Why was jimmy's mom crying? A: Because her doctor said their were going to get rid of he cancer, 5 minutes later hey came back in and told her that he had made a mistake and that was for someone else, she was actually only had a month to live.

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How can you tell the difference between a black man and a white man? Quite easily actually.

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Happy Monday!

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Scrub that muck off at once Hubert Cumberdale!

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What do you call a donkey on Christmas? a donkey.

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I baked tonight. What did you bake? Brownies. What kind of brownies? Chocolate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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