Man U

Why is a frog green? Because it was born that way

When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

How do you get a baby to stop crying? Shoot it.

Knock Knock Come in Come in who? Come in...wait what?

Women's rights.

Q:What's red and crawls up your leg? A: A homesick abortion

Why was Helen Keller such a bad driver? Cause she was blind, def, and mute. Thus making it difficult to drive.

A man was feeling sick and decided to go and see a doctor. He saw the doctor and then went home. He wasn't feeling any better so he decided to get checked-out by the doctor.

What starts with "R" and ends in "JUR"? RJUR.

What did the black person use to peel a banana? His hands.

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Finding two worms. What's worse than finding two worms in your apple? Dying from cancer.

what ate all the ants in the hill? an anteater

Why was the girl sad? Because borat came had DA SEXI TIME with yo mother in law:)

What's long, yellow, and can kill you if swallowed? A school bus

Why did the bartender refuse to let the black man in ? Because the bar was about to close.

Whats the same about Jerry Seinfeld and Adam Sandler They are both comedians

What do you call a guy with no arms, no legs, and floats? Nothing, its rude to make fun of disabilities.

Where do cows go when they're bored? Wherever they're standing. Cows cannot use toilets, regardless of their mood.

Your Mom

If Jonny has 300 pies and eats 299 pies what is left for Jonny? DIABETES

What do you call a black man on a horse? A BLACK MAN A ON A HORSE.

How do you make a black man cry? Stab his wife.

What's the best thing about having sex with twenty six year old's? I am twenty one and prefer older ladies as I find them more experienced and mature.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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