How do you get your clock to stop ticking? Hit it with a sledge hammer.

thumb_up thumb_down

Mama Bear and Papa Bear were in court getting a divorce and the judge offered Baby Bear a choice of which parent to live with. "Do you want to live with your mother?" the judge asks. "No! She beats me." answers the baby bear. "OK, then you can live with your father." says the judge. "No! He beats me too!" cries baby bear. So Baby Bear was placed in a foster home.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do prevent a nun from walking through a revolving door? Put a spear through her head.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide, and drives women crazy. A 6 inch long 2 inch diameter syringe filled with heroin being injected into a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the black guy love his new shirt? Because it was 100% cotton

thumb_up thumb_down

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "What will it be tonight?" He then promptly remembers he is on anti-joke.co but is too late to react. The horse has already shit on the floor. This is the fifth time this week that this has happened.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did Hitler get for Christmas? Some shoelaces for his shoes so he could tie his little knotsies.

thumb_up thumb_down

An African-American man calls KFC. An employee answers. "Thank you for calling KFC." The man replies, "I'm sorry, I must have dialed the wrong number."

thumb_up thumb_down

The anti joke that repeats itself :(

thumb_up thumb_down

Bob: Hey Jim, what's up? Jim: Obviously the sky, oh and i see a few planes too. by the way why are you asking me why don't you just look up?

thumb_up thumb_down

How do people from Indian Hill laugh? Like an Indian, huh, huh, huh!

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock knock. Stop making puns at my door!

thumb_up thumb_down

Waffles ate my grandma

thumb_up thumb_down

Why didn't the black man understand an anti-joke? Because like any other member of the human race, he expected a typical joke structure to occur, starting with a misleading introduction which then using surrealism or misguidance trails into a humorous punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did Dom stop smoking? Because he died

thumb_up thumb_down

Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? No, we can't.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's worse than the holocaust? Giovanna Plowman.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a deer in the wild? a deer

thumb_up thumb_down

A blind man, a black man and a rabbi walk into a bar. The blind man trips and falls violently.

thumb_up thumb_down

What worse than stubbing your toe? Getting raped by a panda.

thumb_up thumb_down

It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

thumb_up thumb_down

butt sex

thumb_up thumb_down

what do you call a tall skiny kid with a very big ego autistic.........colby schluter.

thumb_up thumb_down

I just threw up..In my pants.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops