Why does life hand you lemons? Because it sucks enough, so it wants you to have some.

Q: What's full of different butts and smells bad? A: An ashtray.

A apple is red a banana is to never mind that joke sucks

do you have a pen i can borrow? yeah, here.

whats helen kellers favorite activity fingering herself

24

A bus crashes and everybody dies.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? No. Oh don't worry then.

What do you call a needy person? A person whos needs need needs.

Roses are red violets are blue I'm a bitch and so are u????????

What's green, fuzzy, and can kill you if it fell from a tree? A pool table.

whats every colour and loved by everyone Mario

A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" the Eggman and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the salamander, macaroni and cheese

A dyslexic man walked into a bra.

Whats worse than seeing your mom naked. Your dad.

Why did the black man give his seat to a white man? Because the white man had a leg injury, and the black man was being a courteous good samaritan.

Who is big and stupid My brother

is this the krusty krab? no this is smooth lobster.

how did santa ruin christmas? he didnt put presents under familys tree's

How do you save a drowning Asian teenage boy? You get him out of the water.

Knock knock *open*

Bigfoot, Santa, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde all jump off of a cliff. They all reach terminal velocity and at impact at the same time. However, no one really cares.

what do you call the head-less man sitting on your porch? By what ever his name is!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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