knock knock who's their panda panda who shut up I never said yo name and don't call me black

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3 like an eel

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I know there are, its not the illuminati, its not reptilian shapeshifters, nor Gods politicians nor the human condition. Its society today as it stands, they did not have the right to attack us, but if we had surpassed them, they would have lost all power, they are the relics of the past, and no matter how many of them stand, they do not grow, and what does not grow, stagnates until it finally dies. Lose hope in people most all you want, but not in the few that truly believe in you for all the good reasons in the world, perhaps we are idealists, or maybe we know that with you by our side, what we see as ideals, is something you can make come true.

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When Santa got stuck up the chimney he began to shout.. But he didn't shout for long as he soon succumbed to the toxic smoke and died of carbon monoxide poisoning

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What did Charlie do when he lost his golden ticket? He killed his grandpa to get it back.

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roses are red leather is black when god made you he was smoking crack

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Why did the Mexican go to Taco Bell? Because he thought it was a real restaurant.

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whats red round and gets smaller? a baby combing its hair with a potatoe peeler

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Why dont polar bears eat peguins? Because they live on opposite ends of the earth and it would be physically imposible!!

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Why is a T-shirt like a topaz statue of the Archangel Gabriel? They both start with 'T'.

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What happens if you come across an elephant in the jungle?. You wipe it up What happens if an elephants comes across you in the jungle? Swim

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Friends are like potatoes. I don't have any potatoes.

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1234567890? ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

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What did the guy say when he dropped his baby? "oh no!"

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whats blue and can fly? a red robin i lied about being blue By RT so u believe me

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Q:Why did the man have a lot of Hoes? A: He was an experienced Agriculturalist.

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question: do zombies eat brains answer: actually zombies don't exist, so they don't eat anything

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why did the man die? he had cancer

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Yo momma is so stupid people make fun of her for her learning disability

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Go online. why? To get a quote. why? To save money. why? Because we said so! Parenting can be hard. See how easy it is to save with GEICO.

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Today, my friend threw a lemon at me very hard and hit me in the testicles. FML

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? He has flourished throughout his musical career and is a very accomplished man, as he has won many Grammys

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Why was 6 afraid of 8 because 8 kidnap 7

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Why couldn't the blonde do her homework? She had no fingers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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