If you are on this site, you have a shitty life. It is even shittier if you read this.

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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Q:What were Helen Keller's dying words? A: Speaking is difficult when you have no way of hearing others. Apart from that, just hours before you die, you become unaware of your surroundings, and have a harder time communicating. Both these problems merged together made it basically impossible for her to speak before death.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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what was the biggest game of hide and seek? World War II and the Jews won

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doctor: hey u ready to get home person: yea doctor: that sucks cause u have cancer

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

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Roses are red My bulb is blue My pants are extending When I look at you

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i used to think i had the coolest secret handshake with helen keller. then i realized she was talking sh*t about me

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Why did the Japanese man commit suicide? He was terminally ill and decided it was his time to go

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How do you kill a Jewish person? You shoot him multiple times in the face

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What's blue and white and can't climb a tree? A fridge in a denim jacket!

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"Oren" Tifa is not around here, besides she does not like you anymore, get lost you wacko!

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3 guys walked into a bar. The fourth one ducked.

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what do you call white people running down a mountain? Avalanche What do you call black people running down a mountain? Jailbreak

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Whats worse than burning your foot? Getting it eaten off by a cannibal.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This doesn't rhyme F*ck it

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"To tea to to to" -- russian tourist, asking for two tea to room 22. (DOKA)

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9/11, Amanda Todd, Adalia Rose, Cancer, Swag, Yolo, Disco, anything Southern, Nazi's, and Police officers walk into a bar Everyone stares because these are mildly offensive things.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John, your son. Now open the door.

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its funny cuz i laughed!

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Whats worse than 10 dead babies in 1 trashcan? 10 dead trashcans in 1 baby

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balls

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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