what is yellow with red all over tweety in a blender

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All the other dinosaurs were laughing and teasing the tyrannosaurus because of his tiny arms. They left and the T.rex was sobbing uncontrollably next to a giant fern. "What's the matter little fellow?" said Jesus. The crying dinosaur looked down and said "I That's the end of my stupid puppet show, cuz I couldn't think of anything a blubbering dinosaur would say to our Lord and saviour.

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How do you get a woman out of a car? You drive it into a river and her body will float to the top.

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Why did the little girl stop licking her Popsicle? A psychopath cut off her tongue.

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Where do you find a dog? At a pet store.

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Wanna hear a joke? YEAH! Hold on. Okay, tell me when to let go.

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Why doesn't the boy get anything for Christmas? His parents died the night before!

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I just lied when I clicked the 'I have read and agree to the Terms of Service' to post this when in fact, I didn't read it at all.

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Knock Knock Who's there? ........

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead..

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Whats the difference beetween a pilgrim and a jack-o-lantern? Jack-o-lanters didn't discover america.

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What's worst than your favorite football team losing the football? Giving birth to a stillborn child.

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whats worse than being payton johnson being black

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Ross.

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Why do Mexicans stink? Because they're Mexican.

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Why are black people good at basketball? While there are many preternaturally gifted black men and women in professional basketball, the notion that one race holds sway over the others in terms of sheer skill and talent is a ridiculous stereotype; propagated, no doubt, by both ignorant and jealous persons of other colors.

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What's a computer without Internet? A computer.

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refridgrator

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What did Helen Keller say when she fell into a well? Nothing. She died upon impact and her family mourned her death for years.

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How much cocain did Charlie sheen do? Enough to kill 2 and a half men

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mary had a little lamb it's fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went it did a massive shit

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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If God gives you lemons you find a new God

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How do you stop a baby alien from crying? Watch what its mother does to soothe it and then try and copy that.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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