Why did the boy lose the race? Because he is morbidly obese.

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John: Spell IT Mike: Q-U-A-D-R-A-M-E-C-H-A-N-I-C-S

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canadians

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Some people devote their life to talking in their head. Jesus christ.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Xiao Kaan Xiao kaan who? Fu*k you ugly lauuhhh

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one day there was an ugly barnicle. he was SSSOOO ugly that everyone died the end -patrick

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I can be considerate if like someone is burning to death and I was the one considerate enough to lit them on fire... Wait no, I am considerate towards my friends (which are all ladies, all men besides me are obstacles and nothing else) AAAAND my logic processor broke down. Anyway, please do me the honors, take the last message.

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knock knock whos there open the door and find out

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What did the cat say to the cat? Miau

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Why was the man eaten by a tiger? Because tigers are carnivores, but why are they carnivores? Because they eat meat.

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What is worse than adolf hitler? Justin beiber

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What do you call a blonde with a broken arm? A cripple.

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An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that evolution had created. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!", he said to himself. As he was walking along the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. When he turned to see what the cause was, he saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charging right towards him. He ran as fast as he could. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing, He ran even faster, crying in fear. He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer. His heart was pounding and he tried to run even faster. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up, but saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him. At that moment, the Atheist cried out "Oh my God!...." Then the Atheist died a violent and terrible death.

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You suck big fat slobber

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A dyslexic man walks into a saloon and asks for a hair cut.

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Why did the girl fall down the stairs? Because her asshole brother pushed her :)

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why was the witch in the broom factory? she was recently employed there and is loving her job maing brooms

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What is the most confusing day for chavs? Fathers day

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The First National Tree Bank just closed down. Don't worry it started a brand new branch.

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Why is Macaroni Boy so Cool Because He's not

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What is similar to an orange?? A tangerine.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are flowers, And daisies are too.

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How did the 8 year old child die? He was raped at the age of 7 and given the STD of AIDS. His clock then started as his family weaped his final days of his life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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