a pope and a catholic priest walk into a bar... the priest orders... then the pope says to the bartender "I'll have what hes having." so the bartender takes out a small child and says ...."are you sure?"

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Skeletons can't move.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic And so am I

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Why did the black guy punch the white guy? They were both professional boxers.

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What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled.

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Why did the girl cry? i took her happy meal.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? This joke.

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Why is sally sad her parents abuse her daily

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Why didn't the boy cross the street? He didn't have legs

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why did the chicken cross the road? who cares?

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What do gay cows eat? Grass.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? EMS - your pregnant wife died it a car crash

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? answer: Where's my tractor?

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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Last week, I visited the Virgin Islands. Now it's just called Islands.

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ok everybody to make this more simple we all have to line up alphabetically by height.

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Friends are like trees, if you deprive them from water they'll die.

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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why did the teacher say that the student did well in class? because the student did well in class

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How Many Blondes does it take to open a fridge. 1 Because most blondes are smart and can open fridges.

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Once upon a time, there was a boy. He was 12 years old. He is dad was rich from his business and so when it came time for his 12 year old boy to turn 13 he insisted on buying the boy whatever he wanted. He thought that the imagination of a 12 year old boy might in fact humour him, even if the cost of such a present reached the millions. He asked his son "Son, a very special day's coming up", his son smirked "I know Dad". "Well, what would you like?" asked the Dad. His son pondered for several seconds before replying, "honestly Dad, all I want it 12 Pink Ping Pong balls". The Dad, curious and a little disappointed asked "of course son, but why?". His son replied "I can;t say, I'd just like them for my birthday please". And so on his thirteenth birthday, he indeed received 12 Pink Ping Pong balls. His Dad thought nothing of it until next year, when he asked his son "what would you like for your birthday this year son? A new 82-inch Tv for you toilet, or how about a new jet?". His soon blew the hair out of his eyes and said, "Dad, all I want is room full of Pink Ping Pong balls". His dad again agreed but asked "why Pink Ping Pong balls son?". His son replied "I'll tell you when I get them". True to his word when the boy turned 14, he received a whole room full of Pink Ping Pong balls and his Dad asked him "now why did you want them son". But his son replied "I'll tell you next year". Rather reluctantly his Dad agreed. and then he died.

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Why couldn't the dead man take a shit? He was severely constipated

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Suppose an American, an Indian, a dinosaur, and a leprechaun are on a plane together. Which one would be the first to chug a 7 pound bottle of coke? The situation is too unlikely, with the odds of it occurring being less than 1%, therefore the question cannot be answered accurately.

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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