Q: Why did Little Suzie fall off of the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Little Suzie!

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What do you call a muslim in an airplane? Whatever his name may be, though you could, of course, choose not to address him, though if it were a two-seater plane, it would be good manners to exchange polite conversation.

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A fireman walks into a bar. Everyone has burned alive already, and he's too late to save them.

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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What's young and not funny? Todays anti-joke writers.

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Why was the jewish boy sad? He had no friends.

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what did the homeless man get for christmas.......................nothing

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How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagon? 2 in the front seat, 3 in the back.... and that's it because the holocaust never happened.

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What did the ant say when he walked in the club. . . Nothing he was immediately stepped on.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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Why did Paul let Johnny choke to death? Because Paul had no arms.

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whats worse than forgetting your lunch at home? getting diagnosed with type 1 diabetes.

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What do a goat and an eagle have in common? They both can fly, except for the goat.

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What do you call a 5 year old with no friends? A sandy hook survivor

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Q:What do African American men call the Internet? A:The Internet

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What do a fish, a can of asparagus, a spool of thread, and a car tire have in common? Nothing.

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Why do Asian Women have small boobs? Because anything under A is unacceptable.

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Yo momma so fat she when god said let there be let he said get the fuck out the way!

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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Who has big muscles and is good at wrestling? A wrestler

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How much wood could the woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A relatively small amount compared to the amount of trees in the world.

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Why did the blind man laugh at the book. He didn't

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A bloke walks into a bar. He doesn't say 'ouch' because it was a public house and not a hard surfaced object as you may have thought initially

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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