Whats orange and sounds like a parrot? a carrot

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What's black and has a beary taste? A black bear.

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What did the cow say to the horse? Mooo

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What did the boy say when be landed in the bottom of the well, nothing he was dead.

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"Oi Tom" "What Tom?" "What did Tom say to Tom?" He was talking to himself Such a bad anti-joke

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what did John do to make the cold weather a little less irritating? well, being a homeless man, John did..... nothing.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A Wii.

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Q: why do english soldiers have red coats? A: to cover the blood stains, so they can still lead their platoons when they are shot. why else?

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Whats worse than losing your car keys? Watching your 4 year old son get visciously raped by a 20stone sex hungry pedophile and knowing you cant do anything about it because the sex hungry pedophile is your dad and he is the alpha male of the family so he has full mating rights.

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A man works at a brick factory. He is told by his boss that if he is to steal any brick from the factory, he will be sacked. But every day the man steals one brick and puts it in his lunch box to take home and is not caught. One day he has enough bricks to build a house, and he says "When I build this house there will be none left over". The house is now built and while the man is taking a look around he stubs his toe on something, he looks down to see a brick and he sighs, picks up the brick and throws it in the air. There are two pilots driving a plane, one has a dog and one has a wardrobe. One pilot says to the other "I don't particularly like dogs" then the other pilot says to him "I don't really like wardrobes". They then make an agreement and throw both the wardrobe and the dog out the window. Five minutes later one pilot looks out the window out onto the plane wing, and guess what he sees? A brick.

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I've never seen your mother, so I won't make any vile suggestions concerning her weight.

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What do you call a black fire-fighter? A hero.

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why can stevie wonder drive? He's blind

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A man walks into a bar, purchases a beer, and leaves.

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Where do cows go when they're bored? Wherever they're standing. Cows cannot use toilets, regardless of their mood.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your physician, you're going to die.

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Whats the same about Jerry Seinfeld and Adam Sandler They are both comedians

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Yo momma is so fat that she is overweight

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What do you call a guy with no arms, no legs, and floats? Nothing, its rude to make fun of disabilities.

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An alphabet walks into the post office and asks for a letter. What does the postal worker give the alphabet? Nothing. Alphabets can't walk.

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VaginaBoob ^.^

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Actually, Ylvis had a dog named Say. When he peed in the studio one evening, Ylvis said, "What the fuck, Say?"

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What did the dog say to the house? Roof

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What does the name Joe mean? Joe Mama! Egit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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