While teaching her second grade class, Mrs. Peets asks the class a question from last night's homework, "OK class, what did you get for number five, 5+12=?" A kid in the back raises his hand slowly. "Yes James?", said the teacher. The kid in the back says, "My dick is as hard as a rock, Mrs. Peets."

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Doctor Doctor i have a shoe in my braces. I bet it smells haha.

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why did the man cross the rode? He didn't he got hit by a bus

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Why did John McCain lose the election? He did not get as many votes as Barack Obama.

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You Obviously Lack Originiality YOLO.

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What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

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why is 6 scared of 7 because 7 is scary...

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What rhymes with float,boat,moat,coat and goat but can not be on a boat, can not float, can not be in a moat, can not be on a coat and can not ride a goat? A zoat because it's not a real word and therefore is incapable of doing any of those things.

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Why did the girl get her hair cut off? Because she had cancer

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Why does Charlie Sheen do cocaine? Because his father was a poor role model and he's an unstable celebrity.

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roses are red violets are blue your friend is a scumbag and so are you

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What's worse than a cow on the ceiling? - two cows on the ceiling.

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What is pretty, has big tits, talks like a guy, and has a dick? Your mom giving me a handjob.

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When life gives you lemons ....go murder a clown.

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Knock knock Who's there? Brittney Spears Brittney Spears who? Knock Knock Who's there? Opps I did it again.

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Why was the chicken afaid to cross the road? because there was no road.

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Why is the little boy sad? His parents died in a car crash.

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Q: Why was the prostitute's mouth sore? A: She had multiple cavities due to poor dental hygiene.

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A black guy and a white guy both interview for a job. The black guy gets the job because he is college educated and highly qualified.

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Knock knock Who's there? Be Be who? Be yourself

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What's black and sits in the back of a police car? The seat.

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Hey did you see Helen Keller's dress? No, she's dead.

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Once a upon a midnight haven. Along came a cow name Mr. Maven. For they say the cow was very lucky. But oh what a day for something very mucky. Oh ye the coming of Mr. Maven and his milk. And for every cereal there will be silk. But wait isn't Mr. Maven a guy? How can you milk him even if you try? I don't know, just sounds cool.

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did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he's all right now

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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