Why didn't the teen girl get to her appointment? A) She woke up late.

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Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

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What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

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Your Mama's so fat that the Doctor recommended a healthy eating diet, and to exercise daily.

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Q: How do you make scrach paper? A: Take a paper and scrach it.

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what do Jewish people and pizzas have in common? they enjoy parties

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Why was the jewish boy sad? He had no friends.

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what did the homeless man get for christmas.......................nothing

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Q: Why did Little Suzie fall off of the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Little Suzie!

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What do you call a muslim in an airplane? Whatever his name may be, though you could, of course, choose not to address him, though if it were a two-seater plane, it would be good manners to exchange polite conversation.

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What's young and not funny? Todays anti-joke writers.

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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A fireman walks into a bar. Everyone has burned alive already, and he's too late to save them.

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How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagon? 2 in the front seat, 3 in the back.... and that's it because the holocaust never happened.

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How much wood could the woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A relatively small amount compared to the amount of trees in the world.

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Who has big muscles and is good at wrestling? A wrestler

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Why do Asian Women have small boobs? Because anything under A is unacceptable.

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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Yo momma so fat she when god said let there be let he said get the fuck out the way!

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whats worse than forgetting your lunch at home? getting diagnosed with type 1 diabetes.

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Why did Paul let Johnny choke to death? Because Paul had no arms.

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What do you call a 5 year old with no friends? A sandy hook survivor

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What do a fish, a can of asparagus, a spool of thread, and a car tire have in common? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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