What's black and white and red all over? A dead penguin.

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Did you hear about the man who swam to the bottom of the ocean? He drowned

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So yesterday I went to find a pair of camo pants, And I did

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What do you get when you cross professor plum with a candle stick in the library? A dead prostitute. Try and be more careful next time.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend "I know. You need to quit gnawing when you're giving me a blow job."

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Student: This guy is bothering me! Teacher: And you expect me to do something about it?

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Is this the krusty Crab? No you idiot this is a phone!!!!!

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What do 69 and 420 have in common? That was my score on my Math final:(

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What did the baby say to it's mother as it was being thrown in the trash bin? Nothing, it couldn't talk yet.

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how do you make my dad say oww? throw a baseball bat at him.

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A guy walks into a bar, has a drink then leaves.

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Q: Why can't Micheal J Fox draw a perfect circle? A: Because drawing a perfect circle is impossible for any human. Actually a perfect circle doesn't exist.

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"Solids tunderf" he said, while chewing his gum.

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A Jew, an atheist, and an Asian man walk into a bar. They all have a drink and then go home to their families

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Why are black people afraid of white people? They aren't

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Guess what i just did. Master bait.

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A: "Knock knock." B: "Who's there?" A: "John Doe." B: "John Doe who?" A: "..."

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Are you kidding? If you can slow down time when stressed, then that means that your perception of time is, well... Oh relative, but still wow! What about now though? Can you do it? And for curiosity`s sake, what if you jumped off a roof? Would the stress make it all really slow?

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and a rock? The rock doesn't cheat on it's wife.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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A man walks into a bar with a pack of Marlboros and promptly starts to light a cigarette. The bartender rushes over to stop him. "Hey! We don't allow smoking in here chump! Take it outside." The man replies with a big grin on his face. "Oh no sir. These ain't no ordinary cigarettes. My granddad gave me this pack a decade ago on his death bed." He pulls it out and shows the bartender 19 stale smokes. "He told me that any who took a single drag off any of them would have their biggest wish come true." the man recalled. The bartender had a perplexed look on his face and yelled "What the f*** are you talking about? Get out of here before I curb check your a**!" The man was then hastily escorted out by security. He then died 4 days later from autoerotic asphyxiation.

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a 10 year old walks into a bar and orders a beer, he is then escorted out because you are not aloud to be under 21 years old to be in a bar

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What's worse than being raped? Being raped twice.

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What do you get when you cross a lamb and a pigeon? You get your house taken away.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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