-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Carl -Carl wh-wait... carl...CARL OH MY GOD!!!! WE ALL THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD ,CARL!!!! Where have you been? Oh my god... Mom's DEAD! When we all thought you were dead she hung herself! IT'S YOUR FAULT SHE'S DEAD, CARL! YOUR FAULT!!!!!! YOU ARE AN UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT CARL! YOU KNOW THAT? I hope you burn in hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Try this on your friend Have him start with "knock knock" Then blankly stare at him, if he asks you To reply tell him no one is home

thumb_up thumb_down +10

So this guy walks into a bar and– Nevermind it's really not that funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between a Jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your balls with a Jew.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How long did the Hundred Years' War last? 116 years.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

once you go black your credit goes wack

thumb_up thumb_down +10

do you no what im doing? writing this joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why couldn't the blonde make ice cubes? Because recently she has been missing payments on the elictric bill because of economic hardships.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worse than finding two worms in your apple? Being raped with a cheese grater.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why doesnt bally lifeguard he isnt qualified

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the boy hanging from the ceiling? He was sad

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why do fishermen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a baby with no arms or legs? You call a lawyer, and be sure to have him ask the mother if she took Thalidomide during pregnancy.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is a vampire's favorite desert? Assuming they are real I dont think they would enjoy it in the daylight, so really there's no point.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Justin Beiber's Talent.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the boy jump off a bridge? Because he saw it on tv

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Inbreeding is no laughing matter but damn is it funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

yo mamas so fat she probably has to wear a gerdle when she leaves the house.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was an attempted suicide. His family left him, he had been in and out of rehab for a terrible cocaine addiction for over ten years, and was still having nightmares about his abusive past.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whats black and white? Micheal Jackson. - Avery Vartanian

thumb_up thumb_down +8

you first

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the black man in the hotel so upset? I shit on his chest.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Two gay guys are cuddling in a park when they spot a hot, busty blonde jogging near them. One turns to the other and says, "Damn... It's days like this I wish I was a lesbian."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops