your dad called night and told me your grandpa died.

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I regret everything.....

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why is your mother dead? because i killed him.

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hey timmy, wanna go to Disneyworld?! tough. *10 seconds later* still no timmy

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Person 1- Ask me if I am a tree Person 2- Ok, are you a tree? Person 1- Nope

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What do you call a room with an oven and ten Jews in it? A kitchen.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah...

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Last night, I awoke to the unsettling sound of an alarm. My initial thought was fire. However, after analyzing the situation, I realized that it was only my alarm clock. I turned off the alarm clock, and got out of bed. Then my brother walked in my room and hit me in the face with a toaster.

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BOB:john John:what? BOB:4:59 seconds to get rid of it

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An american man, chinese man, black man, and a Mexican man walk into a bar. The american man says i want to show you guys a trick, so they go to the empire state building and the american man jumps off the side and comes back up alive. He tells them i will do it one more time, watch closely. So he jumps off and comes back alive. The american guy tells the chinese man to do it. So the chinese guy jumps off and dies. Then the american guy tells the mexican to jumps off, sonhe does it. The mexican man dies and the black guy is told to do it and he is afraid, but still does it, he dies. The american man goes back to the bar and the barkeep says "Superman you can be a real dick when your drunk!"

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there was a rich kid strolling in the woods.he saw a bear, HE DIED

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Whats black and cant read white paper? An African

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What do you call it when you take cheese that isn't yours? Stolen bitch, your under-arrest!

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An orphan walks into a bar. The bartender calls Child Protective Services and is given to a nice foster family.

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Whats the difference between a black an white guy? They have different skin tones

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Dad, why are we Swedish? Because antilopes and the butterfly effect son.

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what do yo call two dog? dogs.

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Knock knock Who's there No one We are all on the computer

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What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

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What did the man with tourettes yell on an airplane? He yelled bomb, and was gunned down by 2 federal marshals, one of which's stray bullets happened to hit a small child with autism.

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If you are stranded on a deserted island would you eat your hand or the 5 star meal you butter prepared? -Matt

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How do you stop a rhino from charging? Kill it

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Why was 6 afraid of 7.... because 7 was black

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops