A woman was strolling around town when she turned into a dark alley. She was cold and scared. Suddenly a ferocious looking man jumped out with a knife. The end.

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A black man is in line for a club. The bouncer says: This is a white party only. The black man says: Damn, I wasnt aware I had to wear white clothing. He then left the line and told himself to check the promotional page on facebook more often.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick!

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My dog has no nose, how does it smell? Using its anus.

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What did the blue man say to the red lady? Do you want to make purple? -A.M.M

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lasdjf;lasdjf'liasndkjv afv kaf bk fvj adjkfg akd glkjsa nkgj adfkg kad g sdfk kwjt hjqwneog dfog qi4g oist hbioer voi fboiq erob ogi boiqer boie boi wreoig eoi lasdjf;lasdjf'liasndkjv afv kaf bk fvj adjkfg akd glkjsa nkgj adfkg kad g sdfk kwjt hjqwneog dfog qi4g oist hbioer voi fboiq erob ogi boiqer boie boi wreoig eoi lasdjf;lasdjf'liasndkjv afv kaf bk fvj adjkfg akd glkjsa nkgj adfkg kad g sdfk kwjt hjqwneog dfog qi4g oist hbioer voi fboiq erob ogi boiqer boie boi wreoig eoi lasdjf;lasdjf'liasndkjv afv kaf bk fvj adjkfg akd glkjsa nkgj adfkg kad g sdfk kwjt hjqwneog dfog qi4g oist hbioer voi fboiq erob ogi boiqer boie boi wreoig eoi lasdjf;lasdjf'liasndkjv afv kaf bk fvj adjkfg akd glkjsa nkgj adfkg kad g sdfk kwjt hjqwneog dfog qi4g oist hbioer voi fboiq erob ogi boiqer boie boi wreoig eoi lasdjf;lasdjf'liasndkjv afv kaf bk fvj adjkfg akd glkjsa nkgj adfkg kad g sdfk kwjt hjqwneog dfog qi4g oist hbioer voi fboiq erob ogi boiqer boie boi wreoig eoi lasdjf;lasdjf'liasndkjv afv kaf bk fvj adjkfg akd glkjsa nkgj adfkg kad g sdfk kwjt hjqwneog dfog qi4g oist hbioer voi fboiq erob ogi boiqer boie boi wreoig eoi lasdjf;lasdjf'liasndkjv afv kaf bk fvj adjkfg akd glkjsa nkgj adfkg kad g sdfk kwjt hjqwneog dfog qi4g oist hbioer voi fboiq erob ogi boiqer boie boi wreoig eoi lasdjf;lasdjf'liasndkjv afv kaf bk fvj adjkfg akd glkjsa nkgj adfkg kad g sdfk kwjt hjqwneog dfog qi4g oist hbioer voi fboiq erob ogi boiqer boie boi wreoig eoi lasdjf;lasdjf'liasndkjv afv kaf bk fvj adjkfg akd glkjsa nkgj adfkg kad g sdfk kwjt hjqwneog dfog qi4g oist hbioer voi fboiq erob ogi boiqer boie boi wreoig eoi lasdjf;lasdjf'liasndkjv afv kaf bk fvj adjkfg akd glkjsa nkgj adfkg kad g sdfk kwjt hjqwneog dfog qi4g oist hbioer voi fboiq erob ogi boiqer boie boi wreoig eoi lasdjf;lasdjf'liasndkjv afv kaf bk fvj adjkfg akd glkjsa nkgj adfkg kad g sdfk kwjt hjqwneog dfog qi4g oist hbioer voi fboiq erob ogi boiqer boie boi wreoig eoi lasdjf;lasdjf'liasndkjv afv kaf bk fvj adjkfg akd glkjsa nkgj adfkg kad g sdfk kwjt hjqwneog dfog qi4g oist hbioer voi fboiq erob ogi boiqer boie boi wreoig eoi lasdjf;lasdjf'liasndkjv afv kaf bk fvj adjkfg akd glkjsa nkgj adfkg kad g sdfk kwjt hjqwneog dfog qi4g oist hbioer voi fboiq erob ogi boiqer boie boi wreoig eoi lasdjf;lasdjf'liasndkjv afv kaf bk fvj adjkfg akd glkjsa nkgj adfkg kad g sdfk kwjt hjqwneog dfog qi4g oist hbioer voi fboiq erob ogi boiqer boie boi wreoig eoi lasdjf;lasdjf'liasndkjv afv kaf bk fvj adjkfg akd glkjsa nkgj adfkg kad g sdfk kwjt hjqwneog dfog qi4g oist hbioer voi fboiq erob ogi boiqer boie boi wreoig eoi lasdjf;lasdjf'liasndkjv afv kaf bk fvj adjkfg akd glkjsa nkgj adfkg kad g sdfk kwjt hjqwneog dfog qi4g oist hbioer voi fboiq erob ogi boiqer boie boi wreoig eoi AKSDNFK;SANFKANSDFLJNASDKFNASLDFN VOOL?

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Jovan

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A gorilla walks into a bar and order a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? No one knows, he didn't leave a note.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Q: What's funny about a gay man being raped by men for being gay? A: The man's personality

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Why couldn't the young african american read? He was born blind

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What do you call a Russian man who is on the moon? A cosmonaut

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Why are apathy,ignorance, and resentment alike? I dont know and I don't care to know.

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Friend: What do you call a farting dog? Me: A canine releasing built up pressure as a result of excess carbon-based gases produced by the synthesizing and decompositional digestive reactions in the stomach and intestines. Friend: ... Who is a nerd, pointless, has no social life, and cant take a joke? Me: No one. No one but you is that exceptionally lacking in character.

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What's so sad about a bus with mentally handicapped children falling off a cliff? There was one empty seat.

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Q:Way C'nt U reed tHis? A: Because im retarted -ian surprenant

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Okay, yeah red, but you wont ever get to see it because you have gone stale.

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Why did the baby cross the road? A very uncaring parent left their infant outside. The unsupervised baby then crawled under the fence and began to head towards the road. When the baby began to cross the road, there were two cars coming from both directions. Luckily, they saw the baby and came to an abrupt stop. Unfortunately, when the baby made it to the other side, an eagle swooped down and snatched the baby, because it is a bird of prey. Fortunately, the child's life was spared by the eagle. The Department of Child Services showed up later only to confiscate the baby from the parents. The eagle wanted to adopt it, but it could not speak nor could it sign the legal documents because it was an eagle.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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what brown, red, and green and smells like poop. diareeha

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What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time

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What should someone do if they are Le Zirk? Have a zirk. THEN FIRE THE ZIRKKK!!!!!!!

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Why did Billy fail his math quiz? Because he's stupid.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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