David shut the fuck up your cat has asthma and i dropped a weight on its little fucking head that pikey should of drowned it furthermore your sister looks like a greasy alien

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This is like another one: Terry is at work eating a cookie.. He drops his cookie. His co worker trys to pick it up, however he accidently stands on it. Turns out terry can keep a grudge, nine years later, he killed his co worker with a shovel.

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Statistically 9/11 Americans wont get this joke. But 7/7 British will.

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if ruddell was gay what would he be? a gay prick

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This sentence is not humorous in any fashion whatsoever.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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why was the boy sad? because his penis was stapled to a coffee table

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A man walked in to a bar, he ordered a few drinks, met some new friends and had a good laugh with them. Later that night, he got in his car and drove home, which was foolish, as he should have known that being under the influence of alcohol increases the percentage of a collision, which could take his life and the lives of others. He arrived home just fine and got in to bed with his wife who was happy to see him.

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Bob: Hey bro Jim: ... Bob: You're dead! Jim: Yep.

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top kek

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What did tarzan say when he saw the elephants? Here come the elephants

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Rose are red, I dont give a shit. When I think of you, I play with my clit. :)

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What happened when the woman sent back the pair of shoes she bought on eBay? She obtained a refund from the seller under eBay's return policy.

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What do you call a black man? Black

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What's the only thing a Black Hole can't absorb? Nothing. It absorbs everything, even light.

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I'm not saying your mom's ugly, but I like pancakes.

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Why weren't the two gays invited to the office party? Because there is no office party until december, therefor no one was invited.

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Whats white and bad for your teeth? A refridgerator

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A lion walks in to a bar, and murders everyone inside. This is why animals are not aloud in bars.

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Okay, after this one then...

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Two black men walk into a Ku Klux Klan meeting. they are immediately lynched by the mob who hates them

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Q.How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A.You don't. You kill her.

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What did Sally get for chirstmas? Cancer

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Why did 16-year-old girl scream in the basement? She was being raped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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