You are pretty bad emulations, first of all you should all swear and cuss a lot, that way you never get green thumbs and you all get minimal attention (negative attention) from people whose messages do not concern. I mean come on, if you are all different, you gotta admit that you are all good at typing like the very same person, its just that, none of them are good at sounding as the guy they are trying to emulate.

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This joke is funny

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What do you call a donkey on Christmas? a donkey.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why didn't the chicken cross the road?!

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Why did the stereo break? Cause little Johnny threw a bat at it.

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wife: why are women's feet smaller husband: so they can stand closer to the kitchen sink

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What do you get when you cross a confused man and an anti-social woman? I don't know, go away.

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Whats worse than seeing your mom naked. Your dad.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? BECAUSE HE WAS DEAD.

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Jesus sacrificed his life to prove that he was immortal. So where does the part where he gets nailed to a stick and beaten the shit out of fit in?

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What do You call a man with no arms or legs? Dead, He died of blood loss 3 hours ago

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A blond walks into an electronics store. Then she promptly walks out, as she got the wrong store.

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Adele walks into the stables

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana, Jack got high, pulled down his fly, and asked Jill if she wanna. Jill said yes, pulled up her dress, and had a little fun. But stupid Jill forgot the pill, and now they have a son

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A man walks into a bar with tears rolling down his cheeks. The bartender asks why are you so blue? The man says he has blue skin disorder and that everyone has been making fun of him...

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Q: Why did the kid cross the playground? A: To get to the other slide

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How do you make a baby stop crying? Make it smell its own diaper then, drown it in its own tears.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Why does Santa Clause not have children? Because he only "comes" once a year

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s o m a a d i t u n y s n i t a c s d c ' s k h k s t o e l y e

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Q: What is green, has red shoes, exists in videogames and runs really really fast while collecting rings, running trough loops, has a fox sidekick etc? A: Sonic The Hedgefrog. Moral: I was always a bigger fan of Super Fratelli Brothers though...

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How many babies can you fit in a blender? Depends how hard you push.

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Why is it that all cats dislike flying saucers? The strange noises and lights probably frighten them, as they don't understand the concepts of extra-terrestrial intelligence and space travel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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