A blonde walks into a bar. Shes now in a coma.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what did the girl said to the stalker? i dont know cuz if i did, i would be a stalker

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red Violets are blue I don't like to rhyme Microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Muslim athletes.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the man go to the hospital Because he was hurt

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Who paved the road? The fat guy with the steam roller

thumb_up thumb_down -11

how much did the asian man pay for his operation? nothing. he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What would Walt Disney be if he were still alive today? Still anti-semetic

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Who's the biggest badass in the nation? Adrenaline junky Jacobs!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Alice, seriously do as I say, I lived with the man for over 16 years, those are not hallucinations, its PTSD, without ritalin he will just go trough that agony for nothing, not coffee not chocolate or any of that, anything that helps his focus. Seriously do not be a bitch Alice, listen to him and do as he says. Its not the first time people think he is having hallucinations when his eyes start moving back and forth like crazy, he is not seeing things, he is experiencing this as if they where real, and just because he can stay in that state for days, does not mean he is meant to go trough that kind of agony because of your ethics or caring or whatever your hesitation might be, the man can go without food for weeks if he has to, but not after you sneak trash like Zopiclone into his system. That was a mistake of yours, make up for it Alice, or ill make you pay.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why do hummingbirds hum? They don't realize how annoying it is.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the Carbon atom say to the Oxygen atom? Nothing, basic elements are incapable of speech. It requires a culmination of many atoms to form a living human capable of speaking to another human.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the blind man say to the bartender? Nothing, I forgot to mention he's also mute and has no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the bartender say to the three-legged Irishman? What can I get you?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Im batman...suck it losers

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why doesn't Stephen Hawking play football? Because he's a nerd.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: Why did the duck eat some grass? A: because we are so careless that we caused global causing the entire pond to shrink to a size where it cannot raise a family and the fish could not prosper so the duck could not eat what it had forcing it do consume an inedible substence causing it to die because is not a natural part of a ducks diet

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Pete and Repeat were sitting in a boat. Pete fell off. I hope he was wearing a personal flotation device.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red Violets are blue Black people are black They are inferior

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what is friendship? when friends go on a ship

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A dyslexic man hears a joke, and laffs.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats worse than dying? Nothing.....?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

rock crushes scissors, scissors are useless. scissors cut paper, little stips of paper are usless. paper covers rock, structure of rock remains intact.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops