CISSY: TIMMY! COME AND DO YOUR HOMEWORK THIS INSTANT TIM: ....................../´¯/) ....................,/¯../ .................../..../ ............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸ ........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\ ........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...') .........\.................'...../ ..........''...\.......... _.·´ ............\..............( ..............\.............\... *CISSY SMACKS TIMMY AND SENDS HIM TO HIS ROOM WITHOUT DINNER.

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Roses are red, violets are purple.

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A black man offers to take a girl home from the nightclub. As they're sitting in the car, she curiously asks him ''So tell me it's true what they say about black man''. The man sighs and explains: ''Well many people think that we stab, shoot and steal things. Another stereotype that is launched at us is that we have large penises. I however do not steal. My penis is also quite small. After this conversation the girl was driven home safely, and was now convinced that stereotypes are lies.

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Roeses are purple violets are green WTF u just stabbed me.

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Ask me if im an Airplane. Are your Airplane? Hell yes

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What do you call a monkey lost in a desert? A donkey who was forgotten by his owner.

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A man says to another man, "Why the long face?" He then replies, "I have an elongated face, hands, and feet due to acromegaly."

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? this overused joke

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How do you make a great cake? Bett Crocker books

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What do you call a city that never sleeps? Cities cannot sleep; they merely represent a societal body of people living in a confined community. A city may have a prosperous night-life, however, cannot functionally "fall asleep" in the convential sense of the term.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I peek in your window, Yes, I'm watching you

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Knock Knock Who's there? Do you have a minute to talk about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?

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Whats the difference between babies and a dart board? Dart boards dont bleed

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whats worse than the holocaust? nothing

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What is worse then finding an apple in your worm? Not a lot.

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Why did the farmer name his pig "ink"? He had a terrible case of dementia.

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Whats cooler than being cool in High School? Nothing, now take a hit...everyone's looking

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What do you call Willy Wonka when he is in Colorado? Willy Colorado.

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Women's Rights

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A man decided to enter the local pun contest. He sent in ten puns. One of them was very witty and he won the contest and felt very good about himself.

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What did the elephant say to the poacher? Answer: Dear God in heaven, please don't kill me for my ivory.

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What did one Dentist say to the other? You are fat.

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Q: Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? A: A burglar

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops