Old guitars sound like cat's guts

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there once was a time before bonerss it sucked it sucked real bad like that kid who never washes his gym closes bad Mason Manning JLR

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your real father. I left you when you were a month old and I have regretted the decision ever since. I would like to be a part of your life.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No Neither has he

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So an irishmen, jewish, and asain walk into the bar...and the bartender said get out..

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Q: Why did the lady retire? A: Because she had been working for numerous years and felt that she needed to spend more time with her family.

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What's worse than biting into a worm and finding an apple? Why would you bite into a worm?

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A black van approaches a small boy. The boy gets in the van, and the van drives away.

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Davey Peterson.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks: "why the long face?" The horse replies: "my wife has terminal cancer."

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Life gave me onions. Onionaide Sucks

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz "Somebody left the gate open"

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Why did the boy get hit by the bus? He didn't check both sides before crossing

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What do the villagers say when they see Tarzan swinging into town? Look, here comes Tarzan! What do the villagers say when they see Tarzan swinging into town with sunglasses on? Nothing. They don't recognize him.

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Why did the bird fall down? It got shot.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A zebra that's been brutally cut open.

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Yo mama is so poor I saw her kicking a can down the street and asked her what she was doing? Her reply was: Kicking a can down the street. What did you think she was doing? Moving?

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken a month off from working in their law firm. The mexican man, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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roses are red, violets are blue, ive no money for presents, happy christmas everybody

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What did the jacket say to the girl? Zip me up wait why am I talking

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Q.Why did the boy fail to complete his homework? A. He was a loaf of bread

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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What caused the Berlin Wall to come down? Gravity

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What is the difference between a rock and a pencil? Your Mom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops