A duck walks into a restraunt and sit's down at it's table. The waiter asks what the duck would like to eat. The duck says "I'd like a tasty, healthy meal that will help me lose weight." The waiter says "How about the rocket salad?" So, the duck orders a rocket salad, eat's it, pays his bill, and leaves.

You know what is worse than being dead...being at a Justin Bieber concert

What did the KKK member say to the african american man. Nothing, he just killed him.

What did the man say before he killed himself? I am going to kill myself

so a black guy goes to a hot dog eating contest how many does he eat? enough to win.

Your mom is so fat she wears large clothes

Lebron James got a new iPhone, but he has to keep it on vibrate because he doesn't have any rings.

How do you fit 1000 babies into a trashcan? You don't that would be wasteful! You Eat Them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Knock Knock Who's there? Chinese. What? Knock Knock.

How do you get a one-armed man out of a tree? you wave.

What's black, white and red all over? Nothing, I'm colourblind.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

Girl 1- why was 6 afraid of 7? dog- ..................................(doesn't say anything because dogs can't ruff)

They found Michael Jackson dead in his house and found Madeleine McAnn in the cupboard 8P

sure!

A horse dies and goes to heaven. He wonders why there aren't any atheists around.

My daughter is dying of AIDS.

Hello, I'm David and I just stabbed my aunt in the eye. Just kidding, my name isn't David. That was an Aunt Eye(anti) joke.

What's black, white and red all over? A nun that's just been shot.

There's a black guy and a white guy standing in a bar, surprisingly the black guy doesn't die. This isn't a racist joke.

This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well shit whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -None, they will pay for somebody else to do it

why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

A man walks into a bar and pulls out a tiny piano and a 12 inch pianist, which is really just his member with a smiley face drawn on it. Somebody calls the police muttering, "What is this world coming to?"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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