how does chuck norris eat an apple Just like every other person

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What do you call a bad anti joke? And anti joke

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My daughter is dying of AIDS.

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Half koala, half walrus, behold...the Koalrus!

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs and an eyepatch? names...

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Thank you so much Nero, I have read it and I am crying because I am happy, at first I was worried because I have never cried out of happiness before. But its over. Nero, you underestimate yourself a lot, promise me we will work with that together, sometimes you almost convince me you are as inferior as you say, but then you get out of your shell of doubt your past has caused in you (its not you when you doubt yourself its what they put in you), you are always there when people need you, teach me hypnosis someday and let me remove that part of you which does not allow you to believe in yourself. Dont reply Nero, calm down and sleep, I feel you are allright, I just know.

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What did the owl say when it fell out of the tree? Nothing. Owls don't talk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Q-What do you call a woman in the kitchen? A- A woman making me a damn sammich thats what.

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Why was the man sad? His intestines were imploding and his head was shot off seventeen seconds ago.

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Why was the boy crying on his birthday? He was being molested by his birthday clown who he was fully aware was his alcoholic costumed father.... And it wasn't his birthday.

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roses are red leather is black when when god made you he was smoking crack

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theres this guy that i REALLY like but today he was putting something in my locker, it was gumbie the little green bendy thing but i didnt want it to be in my locker so i slammed my locker, except the only thing was that his pinky was in the way!!!! oh gosh i felt soooooo bad!!!! turns out he went to the hostpital and got stitches!!!!!!! that made it worse on me!!!!!! he said he was finee but i still cant let that go!!!!!

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Why did the Gazelle run away. Because a lion was nearby and as we all know, nature called for the lion to be a carnivore, so the gazelle is in danger of being consumed by the lion.

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im a willy bum bum

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knock knock. no one answered so the man at the door went home.

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A man walks into a bar. Wait, no, it was a horse. A man walks into a horse

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What do you call a blue colored dog with seven legs, that oinks? not a dog...

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What the difference between a rabbit an a eagle? They both fly except for the rabbit

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? -Because it was dead Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? -Because it was stapled to the first koala

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What do you call a black man driving a helicopter? Blackhawk down

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What did casino dealer say to the other? Every day I'm shuffling.

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What trees do fortune tellers look at? Whichever variety of species are indigenous to where they live.

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A father of four joins the military. He returns home after his service.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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