How do you get a woman out of a car? You drive it into a river and her body will float to the top.

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Its easy they said, just type your text below they said, so I did

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Q. What's long and hard and full of seamen? A. A penis. Oops, I misspelled "semen". Sorry. Also, to clarify, this doesn't describe the normal state of the average penis. Usually they are flaccid, and they can only be said to be "full of semen" at the exact moment of ejaculation.

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How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her repeatedly in the face and then slit her throat.

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How do you get a one armed clown out of a tree? Hit it in the face with an axe.

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Why did the man order a mail order Asian bride? Because he was caucasian which meant females of his race had unrealistically high expectations of a partner due to various materialistic overtones that are constantly portrayed in their medie creating a society of over entitled women who think they are owed the earth.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven

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how much blondes does it take to fix a light bulb 1 to buy the bulb 2 to put it up and 25 to think about what it does

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What do you get if you cross a bomb expert, and a homophob? a blowjob

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Q.What do you call a beaver with a unibrow. A. A beaver........it's still a beaver

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to commit suicide.

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What did the Jewish man say when he answered the phone? Hello?

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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How do you make a girl scout cry? Steal her cookies

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who's there?

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What is green and red all over? A christmas tree that is internally bleading.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Repeated jokes.

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What's black, white and red all over? A nun in a blender

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What's the color of a healthy kidney. I have no f***ing idea.

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I'm Batman.

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How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit it with an axe!

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what is better than your entire family getting brutally murdered applesauce

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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