kid: dad! a kid called me gay today! dad: son, im 100% ok with u hurting that kid! kid: i cant! hes too cute.

What's the difference between a Watermelon and a baby? One is fun to smash with a sledgehammer, the other is a watermelon.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I have no idea but I don't see why it would want to cross a road in the first place. It is a chicken.

What's the difference between a zit and a priest? These two things are so different that I couldn't list all of the differences in this text box.

What did Osama Bin Laden say before was captured? nothing the U.S. military slit his throat on site

what did the bug say when it got ran over by a car? NOTHING, bugs can't talk

The Blonde Gets 100 % On Her Math Test

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

what did the african say after he got beat by the cops? wow i really shouldn't have sliced that mans head off.

What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

A blind man walks in a bar I mean like a metal bar But it didn't hurt He only laught

Why do vampire's from 'Twilight' sparkle? Because it's a really bad movie.

What happened when the man lost his sandwich? He couldnt eat.

A black man walks into a house and is shot because it is not his house and it is 2 in the morning.

How do you get a black man out of KFC? Tell him to get out

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? I don't have a last name.

why did the boy trip off a cliff? because he was clumsy.

The only thing you need to call a woman that starts with "B" is "Beautiful" Biitches love to be called beautiful

Child: Hey mom can i go to the store with you? Mom: no son, i'm not really going to the store. I'm cheating on your father.

How do you get 100 midgets into a mini? You have to manufacture a mini big enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It won't be street legal, but at least your problem with fitting the midgets in the mini is solved.

have you seen ray charles' house? neither has he.

Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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