Patient: Doctor Doctor! Doctor: Yes. Patient: I think I'm a moth! Doctor: You don't need a doctor, you need Mental help. Patient: Yes I know. Doctor: Then why are you here? Patient: The light was on.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

If Life Throws You Melons, Then You're Probably Dyslexic. -S.H.A.T Brother 2Flush

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why is a four year olds bedroom the hottest place in Texas? Its on fire, like the rest of the state because of a tragic wildfire thats ruining the lives of many people.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Jews don't celebrate Christmas, therefore nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A man walks into a bar carrying a piece of asphalt under his arm. The bartender says, "We don't serve construction workers here."

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Omg you bought a Prius? Children in Africa are starving and could have used that money to buy food.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the Flintstones have Christmas? The Flintstones celebrated Christmas because the creator, William Hanna, celebrated it. As it is a kids TV show, you can't expect it to be factually correct.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Fill in the blank: Hello my name is ___, and today I would like to ask you why you put your real name in the blank? Posted by: BerserkSpoon

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are red. Violets are violet. Violet is a color already.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Knock Knock? Who's there? bob bob who? the builder

thumb_up thumb_down -17

a retard walks into a bar a bruise appeared on his head

thumb_up thumb_down -17

An Artic Storm.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the suspicious Hunchback say? I've got a hunch.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: Whats funny about the Holocaust A: Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A woman walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Yes ma'am?". She orders a gin and tonic, but the bartender had gave her two without realising, and so she pays for one only. She starts to contemplate whether to tell the bartender about his error or to just leave it and have a free glass of gin and tonic. However as she is a christian, gluttony is a sin, and she already had enough to drink today. However, she feels the need to have a relaxing drink today, because as she was on her job as a receptionist, when a customer tripped on the last step of the stairs behind her and broke his neck, dying instantly, which deeply saddened her. This later led her to indulge on 3 glasses of red wine in the staff room. She finally concludes after a few moments pondering, to not tell the bartender about his error, and pampered herself with two relaxing glasses of gin and tonic. Her dead, mutilated body was later found in the rubble of a car after a head-on collision with a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are red Violets are blue you smaell funny just like my poo! this came from the BOTTOM of our hearts!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ?... because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A Mexican man, an American man, and an Italian man go to a bridge. The mexican said "we have too much of this in our country!" and throws pasta into the water. The Mexican man says "we have to much of this in out country!" and throws a taco into the water. The American throws in the Mexican man and says "we have to much of these in our country!"

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q What did the Whale say to the Giraffe? A Why are you in the ocean?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the doctor say to his patient? You were supposed to die 12 seconds ago....

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why did the monkey buy a shoe? to put em on!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops