A rabbit crosses a road... To be continued

thumb_up thumb_down +10

96

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you get when you put the head of a lion on the body of an eagle?2 dead animals and a fine for killing protected species.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did moral man run out of morals? Moral: LEAVE MORAL MAN ALONE! BUAHAHAHA LEAVE HIM ALONE! BUAAAAAAAAHAHAHA!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

sorry got to poo

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead dive off a yacht. Unfortunately the yacht is in a shop and all 3 of them sustain injuries following impact with the concrete floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A Polish man is walking down the street carrying a brown paper bag. He runs into one of his buddies, who asks, "Hey! What's in the bag?" The man tells his friend that he has some fish in the bag. His friend says, "Well, I'll make you a bet. If I can guess how many fish you have in the bag, you'll have to give me one." The man replies, "I'm sorry, my friend, but gambling is against my morals, especially when my family's only nutrition for the week is on the line."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

kill yourself

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's worst then finding an worm in your apple. Finding a colony of flesh eating bugs after you toke a bite.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

There once was a man from Nantucket... Who was fiscally responsible.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats hard and long? An erect penile shaft.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the child with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

how do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down +10

So I'm at the office and I tell this guy, "Hey can you pass me the stapler. But when you pass it over, make sure there are staples in it 'cause if not, I can't staple anything."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the black man have lots of money. He studied hard at school and got into a good university. He dedicated 5 years of his life working relentlessly and getting his diploma in medicine then went on to work in a private hospital as head doctor and neuro surgeon. He was very successful in his specific field of medicine. That didn't work out so after quitting his job and realizing he had wasted over 7 years of his life achieving nothing but lose of interest in his career. He then bought a lottery ticket and won 8 million dollars.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

On a scale of 1 to 10, 7 being the highest, what is you favorite color

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the boy laughing? Because

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the homeless man get for christmas eve? Hypothermia. What did the children get for christmas day? A traumatic experience when they tripped over his snow-covered corpse.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Three peasants were brought in front of the King to be rewarded for their assistance during a drought. The King told them that they could each request one thing from him that he could provide. The first man asked to be rich, so the King ordered his guards to fetch a large sack that was filled to the brim with gems and gold pieces. The man thanked the King and left his palace joyfully. The second man asked for a larger house so the King gave him access to one of his many castles. He hurriedly left, eager to try out his new home for size. The third man asked for a cat so the King gave him a cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Obama says: I can throw one 1,000 dollar bill out the window and make one person really happy Michelle says: I can throw ten 100 dollar bills out the window and make ten people really happy The Co-Pilot says: I can throw you both out the window and make 250,000,000 people really happy tee-hee

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What the difference between a duck? One of the legs is both the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the Zen Buddhist say in the hamburger store? He said, "Make me one with everything."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops