I have suicidal thoughts

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate black people, and mexicans too.

One day a child goes to the doctor and says, "it hurts when do this" as he pokes his throat. The doctor, after several well-performed deep tissue testing, diagnosed the child with stage four esophageal cancer. The child cried himself to sleep that night.

I ran in to Hitler. "Hey, Hitler, what's up?" I asked. "Well, this time I am going to kill 6 million Jews and 2 clowns." "Two clowns?" I ask. "Why two clowns?" "See!" He exclaimed. "No one cares about the Jews!"

A bear walks into a bar, and says "I would like a pint of..........beer." The bar tender asked "why the long pause?" The bear replies "I think I just had a stroke."

Why did the waiter lose his job? Because he was a fish

what did God say on the 7th day? -zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered 6 offender. And there was nothing funny about that.

What do you call A potato who is covered in red refrigerators and is known as a potato. Fallafal

Help I'm being raped!

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your son has been in a car accident and has died.

A: Knock Knock B: ...

What did the old man say to kid who was begging to his mommy? Shut up.

What's the differences between oranges? Trees don't have doors.

Why can't Amy Winehouse sing? She's dead.

Why did Johnny fall down? Because I threw tropical fruit at him.

What do you call a guy sleeping with little boys? Michael Jackson

There are two fish in a tank and one says to the other, "how do we drive this thing?"

What's worse than chicken pox? AIDs.

Why does beyonce sing "to the left to the left?" cause women have no rights

your skull would make a nice pen holder

Whats Brown And Sticky?! My Shit!

Who killed the ears of every human being? -Rebecca Black

honest politician

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...