A blonde went to a doctor for a checkup. The blonde couldn't hear the doctor 'cuz she had headphones on so the doctor took them off. A couple of minutes later she died. The doctor was curious so he put the headphones on. It was saying, "Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out..."

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A man walks into a bar. Now he needs stitches on his forehead because he was walking pretty fast

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What looks like a flower, smells like a flower, and feels like a flower, but isn't a flower? Just kidding it's a flower

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Why did the black man go to church? Because his father died.

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Knock, Knock? Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Why are you crying? I'm not crying. Oh.

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? cancer

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Why is little johnny sad? He won the lottery but then found out the next day he had cancer and cried in a corner.

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Q : What is the similarity between me and my friend? A : We both are crazy

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A blonde lady has a sore throat. Her colleague tells her that whenever she has a sore throat, she performs oral sex on her husband and swallows, and this cures the problem. The next day, the blonde comes into work. The colleague asks if she followed her advice, and the blonde says yes and it worked. The blonde also passes a message from her boyfriend thanking her colleague for the suggestion. The two sets of spouses eventually became close friends and were godparents to each others' children.

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Doctor doctor, I feel like listening to good music. Looks like you need "The Cure" to help with this.

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What do you call 55,000 clowns exiting a small car? Fiction.

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A man with Alztheimers walks into a bar. He forgets the purpose of being there.

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Know what's worst than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Obama

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One day, a bear happoned across a man and said "How do you do today good sir?" but the man ran away screaming "OH CRAP, BEARS!!!!" because it just sounded like bear growling (which i would love to dedicate to my friend Chris Bradley, just to make the ball to stick ratio too high)

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what is the difference between a car salesman and a lawyer? a car salesman sells cars to people while a lawyer is an expert in law.

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The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action

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100 chefs walk into a bar

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So much with being an author... You with the Feds? The CIA?

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Why did the girl cross the road? To get run over by a bus.

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What is worse then having no dad? Russian dad that hates you a lot and wishes you drawn in vodka.

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Why is my room black and white? Because your in a black and white movie.

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Why was the man sad? Cause his dog fell off a cliff

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A man finds a woman stumbling around on the street... So he asks sarcastically "what drugs are you on?" The lady starts crying and says "I was raped"

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Why did a vampire climb Mount Everest in the middle of the night on his birthday in September?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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