JOHN to MARY: Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet So are you MARY to JOHN: Roses are red Violets are blue Who are you? JOHN to MARY: Roses are red I'm your husband MARY to JOHN: No! JOHN to MARY: WHAT??? MARY to JOHN: Ex Awkward silence. Mary moves out the next day.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Man comes home and sees another dying man lying in the center of his house. He yells at the man, "HEY I DONT KNOW YOU" The man on the floor replies, "That's funny, my family used to say the same thing"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

There were once three bears who lived in a cottage in the forest. They left to go to the market one day. While they were gone a blonde girl walked into their cabin. Meanwhile at the market, everyone was freaking out that there were bears there.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the boy eat for dinner? Shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: Whats worse than being raped by a giant scorpion A: Getting raped by three giant scorpion's

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why is Kim Jong Un so horrible? I forgot the rest of the joke but your mum is a whore

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man walks into a bar with a couple of chickens by his side. He sees a man sitting at the bar drinking a beer. The man who's drinking the beer offers the other man a seat, and asks him to join him in the drinking. The other man hardly refuses and takes the beer from the other man and throws it on the floor, breaking it. The man sitting at the bar asks him why he did it. The man answers: "My chickens don't like beer"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

When u r using ur computer and then all the sudden it says reload and something about an error blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah .. ......blah blah blah. Blah blah. Your response: "AWWWWW BITCH ASS FUCK U"......*LEAVES ROOM*..... (HOUR LATER)*COMES BACK IN THE ROOM* "Oh hey, Meet my bff she is from your version of Hell her name is , Vir-is (virus) anyways Vir-is wanted to have sex with u and probably give u a USB Transmitted Disease A.K.A. virus then wwhile u r rebooting Vir-is and I is gonna kill u Toodles

thumb_up thumb_down -8

YOUR MOM SHOT YOU OUT HER ASS!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man has a meeting with his doctor and his doctor says "I have some bad news, you have cancer and you have alzheimer's," to which the man replies... "Well at least I don't have cancer." This is an example of a fallacy claim.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

"Whats your favorite number?" "9." "Is it because thats your jersey number." "Thats my jersey number?"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock Knock Whos there? Your neighbor.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what did the blind man see? Nothing he felt the penis in his butt.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Hay is for horses and other hay consuming mammals.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why did mary fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms. Why didnt she get back up? Cause she had no friends. Knock knock whos there Definately not mary !

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Dey see me boilin' Dey choppin' God I'm so fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juiiiiiiccccy! MR MCCANN

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can A hundred dead babies in a trash can Whats worse than a hundred dead babies in a trash can A live one at the bottom Whats worse than that It eats it way out Whats worse than that It brings friends

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's black and white and red all over? Two biracial gay guys boning a can of paint...

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Did you hear the one about Steven Hawking into a bar? I havn't either, but its probably a hoot.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a woman between two houses? Her name.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Jamie stegman is a masive idiot and does not have a life at all he is a tool which is true becuase no one likes him

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man walks into a bar and says "ouch".

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did Jimmy cry? His mom raped him.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's that on my back? Tell me it's your phone ! Its my phone.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops