Why didn't the busy San Francisco business man hear his alarm clock ring this morning? A nuclear bomb blast occurred 700 meters from his front door. The estimated blast radius was approximately 100 square miles. Naturally, his alarm clock didn't make it.

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because he wanted to. Problem, AntiJoke community?

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3 men check in to a motel. They all decide to leave given the eminent danger of being the butt of a homosexual joke.

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What's the difference between a fat person and a whale? The quality of the fat. -Japan

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The Princess is in another castle

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Womens basketball

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So, you got to take medications daily or die? Are you in pain my dear?

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street he gets hit by an airplane

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Q: How did the blonde girl get into Harvard? A: hard work, dedication, and a perfect SAT score.

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What did the pony say when it lost its voice? Nothing. Ponies are incapable of speech.

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Why did the woman fall off the skateboard? She hit a rock.

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Is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Getting AIDS.

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What do you call a fat kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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When Santa got stuck up the chimney he began to shout.. But he didn't shout for long as he soon succumbed to the toxic smoke and died of carbon monoxide poisoning

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When time is the best time to make a wish during the day? 9:11

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Q: Whats worse than being raped by a giant scorpion A: Getting raped by three giant scorpion's

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A jew, a catholic, and a muslim walk into a bar. Within minutes, they begin to argue about religion. After a few hours of intense debate, all three left dissatisfied and upset.

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Why did the student go to university? To pursue a higher education.

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? nothing.

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What's the difference between a Mustang and a sack of dead babies? I don't have a sack of dead babies in my garage.

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What do you do if there's a rabid elephant chasing behind you, a vicious jaguar to your right, a rearing horse to your left, and a bloodthirsty lion in front of you? Innoculate yourself with a rabies vaccine, prod the jaguar on the nose with a stick (they hate that and will probably flee as a result), speak softly and calmly to the horse and encourage the lion to go for the elephant instead of you. You will probably still die as a combined result of mauling and trampling, and it's unlikely that you'll have two rabies vaccines to hand by chance for such situations, but your chances of survival will be minimally improved.

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A Blonde, a brunette, and a redhead where hiding from the police They were all shot and all died because they were playing Grand Theft Auto 5

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why did the chicken cross the rode? so it can get the seed that is between the two yellow lines, and then he walked back without getting hit by a car.

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How can a chicken be dirty? It can be covered in dirt!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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