Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, your wife and kids die.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q: How do you stop a baby from crying? A: You hit it with brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

So three hikers decide to face the deadly challenge of climbing Mount Everest. They were unaware of the risks, and were all brutally killed in an avalanche.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call a fat kid? I don't know...you tell me

thumb_up thumb_down +26

There was once a family of tomatoes. A daddy tomato a mommy tomato and a baby tomato. they decided one day to take a walk. but the baby was taking forever so the daddy tomato walked back STOMPED on him and yelled "CATCHUP"

thumb_up thumb_down +26

roses are blue violets are red... i have to use the bathroom

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What is intangible and has every color on the rainbow? A rainbow.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What is so bad about a black jew. They have to sit in the back of the gas chamber

thumb_up thumb_down +26

His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a black man standing on a sidewalk? Preferably race shouldn't matter in this situation, but in most social circumstances the man would be described as black to elucidate the person being depicted.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did I say to my mum this morning? Good morning.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Who were the fastest readers of all time? The victims of 9/11. They went through over 87 stories in less than 2 1/2 minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

"I see," said the blind man to the deaf man.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Roses are red Violets are violet Don't know why people are saying they're blue

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A African American male and a Mexican male are both in a car, who is driving? Most likely the owner or the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What kinds of children go to heaven dead ones

thumb_up thumb_down +24

ARE YOU READY?! ARE YOU READY FOR LOVE!? YES I AM, AH! ARE YOU READY?! ARE YOU READY FOR LOVE?! The judge did not find the Elton John song worthy of negating the statuary rape charges and sentenced him to nine years in jail.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's better than winning gold in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

whats worse than being late to school haveing your family killed by an angry peice of toast

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Some people like melon and others like soup.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock knock. Who's there It's Jim O ok come on in

thumb_up thumb_down +22

69 is a number not a sex poshion

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the chicken protest? He wanted to be able to cross the street without getting his motives questioned.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops