Knock Knock Whos there? It was the unexpected arrival of his wifes lover who'd been having an affair with her for over a year She thought her husband would be out and forgot to tell him not to come The husband started breaking down in tears whilst throwing insults at both of them, grabbing the man by his collar and throwing him on the ground he started to kick his head in The man died and the husband and wife divorced, theres now a bench in the mans local park dedicated to him.

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There are 3 types of people in this world, those who can count to potato and those who can't.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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What worse than rain Osama Bin Laden

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Pizza guy. Just a minute, I have to grab my wallet.

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What does a carrot and a potato have in common? They're both not chocolate

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The Sentence Below Is True The Sentence Above Is False

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. Question is, how did they get in there?

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Roses are red, violets are blue a face like yours belongs in a zoo. Don't you worry I'll be there too, not in the cage but laughing at you.

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If Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black had a baby, would it be a boy or a girl? It's a fifty-fifty shot.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she is blind.

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because 7 ate 9.

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What did the man with aids say? "I'm dying and there is nothing you can do about it"

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Your mother is so heavy that she decided to try out nutrisystem

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Why did the wee boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a truck.

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What'd the left nut say to the right nut? How's it hangin?

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What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike!

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What did Osama Bin Laden say before was captured? nothing the U.S. military slit his throat on site

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Why are rich people so rich? they're not poor.

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Religion.

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

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Knock Knock! Who’s there? Alligator! I'm positively sure that Alligators are unable to talk, now please tell me who this is before I call the police.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops