What's worse than slipping on a bannana peel? The Gestapo. Go to Aushwitz now.

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A man walks into a bar. He walks out again remembering he forgot his wallet.

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Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

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How many morman minutes does it take to get to school? A lightyear

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I'm a champion. I do what I want.

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what did Susie, the girl with no arms, say after she fell off the swing? nothing, she was killed on impact.

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So, two people park their car and walk into a bar. Wait, no. They were walking into a grocery store and they were riding skateboards, not a car. Then, the kid walks in after them. Oh, did I forget to mention they had children? And also, they're married. So anyway, they walk into this grocery store, and meet a barkeep. Wait no that's ridiculous why would a barkeep be in a grocery store. Let me start over. Bah.. never mind. I forgot what happened next, but it was REALLY FUNNY!

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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What did the rock say to the other rock? Nothing they're rocks? What did the tree say to the other tree? Nothing they're both trees? What did the pillow say to the other pillow? Nothing they're both pillows? What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow.

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What do you call a pile of dead children? Home

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Hold on. Let me think of an answer.

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Why did the man get a haircut? Because he had long hair.

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what'd one jew say to the other jew? i cant eat this its ham. (sounds better when said with disappointed jew voice)

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There's three sisters: a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. They know she's not they're real mom.

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A tree falls in the woods. A deaf boy, who had been frolicking through the forest, is struck down by the tree. He dies. His parents are ridden with grief for years, until finally the father commits suicide. The mother soon remarried and had two more children. Both died before the age of 15. She was a horrible mother.

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Q: why did the pie cross the road? A: Pie is not a living thing and has no way of transportation, therefor the pie did not cross the road.

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world peace

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what did the stop sign say to the car? nothing.

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How did the two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for half an hr? They didn't and they died.

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Bariande: I have a belly button Kraken: haha who doesnt? MissAwkward: i dont Barinade: neither do i. haha this happened on tiny chat.

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Whats black,White and Asian? everything we are all equal

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What's Brown and dirty? Dirt

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Chrysanthemums our orange violettes are musical

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What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops