roses are red violets are blue i have candy im about to rape you

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Why is it pointless to brutally kill and dismember a Japanese man? You'd be satisfying his sexual fetish.

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Q: What did the Big Bad Wolf say to Little Red Riding Hood? A: Nothing, wolfs are mentally nor physically capable of talking

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All the other dinosaurs were laughing and teasing the tyrannosaurus because of his tiny arms. They left and the T.rex was sobbing uncontrollably next to a giant fern. "What's the matter little fellow?" said Jesus. The crying dinosaur looked down and said "I That's the end of my stupid puppet show, cuz I couldn't think of anything a blubbering dinosaur would say to our Lord and saviour.

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DILDO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Whats worse than bieber fever? A yeast infection.

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I used to work at a chemical plant manufacturing hydrochloric acid. I couldn't handle it. One day a container exploded and I got severe chemical burns on my face. The scarring is awful. It has ruined my life.

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Roses are red, Violoets are blue, I accidentally shat my pants. Brb

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I like the way he thinks. Too bad he has alzheimers.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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In soviet russia, 6 is not afraid of 7

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What did the clam say to the scuba diver? FUCK MAN! STOP TOUCHING MY JEWELS! WOULD YOU WANT ME TO JUST RIP YOURS AND TAKE THEM WITH ME!

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What's bad about being a ghost with no arms or legs? You're dead.

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A man walks into a bar... "Ouch"

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Q) How many boring people does it take to screw in a light bulb? A) One

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Why was little georgia afraid of the tea cup ? Because she was tripping over the holocaust.

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Why is America such a great place to live? It's not North Korea.

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I told a priest that I would never believe in anything greater than myself. He said I had the God complex, that I was grandios. I stared him in the eye and asked, "how highly do you think of me? Thank you" and left.

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the only thing i learned in geometry is when you push two circles together it makes a titty venn diagram

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Why did the boy fall of his BMX? Because someone threw a dish-washer at him.

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what happened when spongebob and Patrick were mean to sandy? she made a hurricane

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what's the best way to eat a dead baby? stewed into chili with jalepeno cheddar corn bread on the side

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Lady wanna go out sometime? Im not lesbian girl! Im not a girl... OUCHIE!

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Have you ever seen Hellen Keller's house? Well it was really nice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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