baby seal walks into a club

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Why did they bury the fireman on the east side of the green grassy hill, to the left of the old well, underneath the huge apple tree? Because he was dead.

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Ever had sex while camping? It's great.

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What do you call a black man with a Ph.D? Doctor.

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What's sad about 4 people in a Lamborgini going over a cliff? It was my car.

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How long can penguins hold their breath underwater? Long enough for you to eat a baby and then cover for it.

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What did my wife say when I asked her to pick up some milk on her way home from work? OK

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What's funnier than an knock knock joke???? Dancing narwhals pooping talking soup

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Why did the chicken crossed yo mama? Because your moms a man and your birth certificate was an apology letter from the condom factory.

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A dinosaur is walking down the street. He is soon confronted by a human. The human says to the dinosaur, "Hey, your a dinosaur." Which the dinosaur replies with, "Yes, yes i am." The dinosaur then stands there for a few seconds wondering why he is in the same time period as the human. And as to why a dinosaur would talk.

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Why couldn't Sally ride a bike? She was disabled

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Why does Derrek Ashmore act so feminine on his facebook statuses? Because he has a vagina so it is appropriate for him

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An Italian, a Mexican, and an American are sharing a meal on the Titanic. They all died for the women and children first.

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what is white on top and black on the bottom? Society

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Q: Why did James cry? A: Because he's an infant and still quite afraid of his surroundings

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What happened when the mailman shot the plumber? The plumber died.

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What's awesome and looks like a pumpkin? An awesome pumpkin.

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Q:What's the difference between my refrigerator and the trunk of my car? A: There isn't a spare tire in my refrigerator.

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why did the monkey cross the road? it escaped from a local zoo a block away

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What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing. Walls don't talk.

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Knock knock Who's there? What are you, blind?

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What do you call a quadriplegic person in the water? One should refer to them by their name, but seeing as a quadriplegic person would be incapable of swimming if you do see a quadriplegic person in a body of water you should seek help or call emergency services.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a sprite. Everyone in the bar looks and him funny and then laughs. He then tells them, "I would rather satisfy myself with a cool lemon-lime drink than put the poisonous toxins of alchohol into my blood stream."

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A man orders chinese food. His wife says "Honey, where's the cat?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops