One day a man was out fishing in the lake. Suddenly, there was a huge fish pulling his fishing pole so hard it almost broke. Luckily, he managed to pull the fish into his boat. It was the biggest fish he had ever caught and he brought it home for his family to see. They were all very proud.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A: why did the kid run out of lead B: because his dad broke into his house raped his wife and stoll everything he owned

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Q; What is pink and has 2 legs? A: Not a lot of things, but a Flamingo is the closest thing that I could think of if you do not count the beak eyes and feet.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

what do Jewish people and pizzas have in common? they enjoy parties

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Stephen Hawking wheels into the Center for Theoretical Cosmology.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call a black guy who kills people? A murderer.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the black man say about Linkin Park? That there's obviously a rapist in their midst and they should all be questioned.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Gay Rights

thumb_up thumb_down +31

You have now entered Automatic Breathing Mode

thumb_up thumb_down +31

don't make holocaust jokes, my grandfather died in the holocaust, he fell out of the birds nest shooting Jews.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's beauitful and disgusting at the same time? Menstration. Jk it's just disgusting.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A black man walks into an abbatoir.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

You know how I felt about Nero, no way id ever date anyone but you, back then that is. Fine I will come along, I bet you left the base at "point zero" without the information he left, you have not changed a bit Seth, always too impulsive for your own good, but Nero was always like that and that, turned out, well damn. Tell me first, if you come get me, how much have you really changed mentally from the last time we met? You sincerely sound like a psychopath and I could use a shoulder to cry on rather than be escorted to some sick torture dungeon thing. I gather you are not far away, could you please get over here asap? I do not care about more than the standard code anymore, you have not changed much, except you are a deranged psychopath now, I get it, in your place I think id do the same, I have no idea how bad Nero was doing when you found him, and I sure as hell dont want to know.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Knock knock. Who’s there? Your son. Your son who? DAD WHY CAN’T YOU ACCEPT THE FACT THAT I AM GAY!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash and the other one is a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagon? 2 in the front seat, 3 in the back.... and that's it because the holocaust never happened.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call somebody pimping out their bitches for very large amounts of money???? A dog breeder.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why was the broom late? Cause he overSWEPT!!! ahahahahahaha!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. ------ Knock Knock Whose there? Not Suzie

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A kid has no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Knock knock Who's there? A robber Oh

thumb_up thumb_down +27

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops