Hey, how much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to drown as a result of climate change.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Q: What is better than sex? A: A relationship where you can be completely intimate with your partner

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What would a prostitute do if she was given a million dollars? She would probably diversify her portfolio. First, she would pay her rent. She would buy some groceries and a present for her mother. She would then invest it in stocks and low-yield bonds. She would they buy a vehicle. This win might not affect her continuance in her job.

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Why did the Jewish man commit suicide? Because he was not happy with his life.

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Bob: Hey bro Jim: ... Bob: You're dead! Jim: Yep.

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Why Couldn't the pirates see the movie? Because the mall strictly enforced local curfew laws ; and one of the pirates was unable to provide a valid form of identification.

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run farther?

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What happpens when a Jew walks into a wall with a boner? He breaks his nose

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What do you do with a dog with no legs? Take it for a drag.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted a car to kill him so he can get to the other side with his wife and son. In other news,I had a very nice chicken cutlet and scrambled egg dinner.

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Why did the banana explode? Because it was a grenade!

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Chuck Norris can count from 1 to 100... twice!

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What do you call a cat with no ears? Anything you fucking well like. Cats can't understand speech.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Boo! Boo who? Aww, don't cry!

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Whats worse than death? Living in Agonising pain for the rest of the life that happens to be reading this statement.

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What is worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings What is worse than 2 bee stings? The Holocaust What is worse than the Holocaust? 3 bee stings

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How many pairings of animals did Moses collect before the rain started? 1. 500 2. 50000 3. 500000000 4. Nobody really knows 5. It was Noah... Moral: Lol.

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Why did peter fall off his bike? Because Peter is a goldfish.

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Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window, at the 122th floor of a skyskraper.

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I saw a "Baby on Board" bumper sticker on a car TARGET AQUIRED

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Everything I did, Was just a mistake like you.

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A woman buys a man a Valentine's Day present.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops