What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? " Hey Robin, get in the Batmobile."

Yo mama's has so much acne, I decided to give her proactive.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken would greatly appreciate it if you stayed out of its personal life.

Knock Knock, Ow my face

Q:Baby, baby, baby, oooh A:Thats what she said.

Why was patrick sad? he was raped then murdered then super raped

Your friend is so retarded I am getting a bit worried and his mother should take him to get tested for mental retardation.

Why don't you play cards with a cheetah? It will attack you.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a stupid chicken wandering around.

roses are red FACT violets are blue FACT this ryhm is boring how about you FACT

a disabled person walked into a bar..oh wait

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" After hearing this common expression, the horse looks up at the bartender. With this look, the bartender realizes that he has been speaking to I'll Have Another. Aware his faux pas, the bartender apologizes and pours him a free drink. The free drink does little for I'll Have Another's crushed dreams.

My mate mated with my mate's mate. mated of course meaning fucked.

Have you ever ate a donut? Yes I have. In fact, the donut I ate recently was fairly delicious.

69

anti jokes are like chickens. they arent funny at all. which makes them funny...

A cat walks into a bar. What's the first thing it says? Absolutely nothing. It was knocked out.

Where do you live? In a house

Why did the kid fall off the bike? Because he was paraplegic.

A donkey looks at a goat. The goat walks away.

I just pooped in my boyfriends mouth. He ate it. Ps. I am a boy

So, today I was walking down the street... I met a black guy.

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

A man went to the doctor with a strange complaint. "Well it's like this Doc, when I drive to work in the morning through the country lanes I start to sing 'The green green grass of home'. If I see a cat then it's 'What's new, pussy cat?'. It's so embarrassing, even when I'm asleep and dreaming, I still keep singing. Last night, it was 'Delilah', and my wife was not amused!" "Yes, it would apear that you have the early symptoms of Tom Jones syndrome." "Well I've never heard of that, is it common?" asked the man. "Yes," replied the doctor, "It is very uncommon."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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