There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender looks down at him and says "Hey, we have a drink named after you." the grasshopper looks up at the bartender...then proceeds to hop along because Grasshoppers can't communicate with humans. Then several of the bars patrons looked at the bartender, worried for his mental health.

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John has 32 candy bars, he eats 28..what does he have now? Diabetes.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. Dave then complied, opened the door and let the police search his house. He was then found innocent of drug related charges.

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What do and Asian and an orange have in common? They are both complex, carbon based life forms living on the only world in the universe known to harbor life.

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A Canadian man, American man and French man all go to a wive swapping party. The Canadian gets the American's wife, the American gets the French wife, and the Frenchman dies of a brain aneurism and the European wife. is very disappointed in her night.

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Q:Whats funnier than 24? A: 25.

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Your Moma so fat, she would roll down a hill.

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what's worse than being attacked by a giant ant? being attacked by two giant ants

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? It's the police, they ask the questions.

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What did the man do when it was raining pineapples? He got a chainsaw and went on a killing spree against his neighbors family.

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs. A pharmisict.

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2 guys walk into a bar the third one ducked

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You have a birthday party and invite 5 celebrities: Britney spears, Lady Gaga, Hulk Hogan, Barack Obama, and Oprah. Meanwhile, there is a cow in a nearby pasture pooping.

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what's blue and goes blub blub? a blue blub blub

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If you had to go blind, would you go blind? If you said no, then you are wrong. You had to go blind.

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Safe sex MR

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Q: What's your favorite song? A: Not one in particular. I like all kinds of music.

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Whats the difference between Steven Hawkin and Gary Glitter? Ones severely disabled and ones a paedophile.

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You know what they say about men with big feet? Big penis.

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If you were a booger..................... I would get a tissue so i could blow my nose.

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What's yellow and lays in a tree? Tweety the Whore

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My kids are mistakes.

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Why did the man stop having seizure? Because his condition was recognized and he was properly medicated.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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